The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

If you ever rowed out in the wake waiting on God's mercy, been swallowed by a beast of the sea,  and decided instead, at that moment, to embark trading your soul to Lucifer for liquid fungible real-world assets, then you know it is not an easy voyage to navigate.  Yet, for centuries the mainstream media has portrayed the psycho-marine transaction as nothing less than smooth sailing. As early as next week, the headlines for the Fox Sun Times Glob will read  Selling Soul to Satan Never Easier .  In this and other plethora of glamourized, dramatized, and sensationalized articles, Satan appears well-dressed with papers, pen, and notary public.  Everything the damned ever wanted or could dream of wanting is handed over in all its ridiculous Hollywood fluffery.  If only that depiction were accurate, we would all have good reason to breath a sigh of relief. Courtesy: FutureNews.org - we deliver news from the future day or night However, few are brave...

Park a car there - Sometimes the way something is supposed to be used is the way you should use it.  The default value is sometimes the best.  So just stop being a rebel and park your Vespa in the garage, and go to bed.  Now you don't have to worry - you're just like everyone else.  That will help you sleep. Start a cult - Let's face it, alright?  Mainstream and fundamentalist religion zealots are off their proverbial rockers.  Either way does not matter.  Pulpit jockeys throw on a suit and tie before they preach in the limelight.  That is the attire of a business man and the venue of a clown.  The collection plate now accepts paypal and bitcoin.  I know, I know, it was all foretold in their own book.  It is said that it won't end well.  Still, it makes you think, perhaps a doomsday cult is just the thing you need to jumpstart your white vanilla sex life. ...

1.  Always obscure your footprints. 2.  Never let a human photograph you unless you are safely out-of-focus. 3.  Stay in places that humans never live or go, like snowy mountains. 4.  Develope ingenious ways of avoiding humans like quickly walking away in a very lunging, determined manner, maybe glancing over your shoulder conspicuously. 5.  Graze on bark and snow. 6.  Bury your feces and urine. 7.  No fires. 8.  Use your psychic abilities to predict the future of humankind but do not publish the information. 9.  Do not wear snow boots. 10. Do not ever wear snow boots. 11. Always follow both rules 9 and 10 amorously. 

The monarchy, as well as all popular music, have been full of empty, broken promises since before the birth of recording.  Yet, unlike politicians, musicians and royals are not held accountable for their social manipulation.  Even the Pope is given a bad rap, while Phil Collins gets off scot free. In 1985, Collins published what some consider to be the most politically charged music video in history when he released Land of Confusion  to rave reviews.  Jules Trellis, in an op-ed for the Sun Times Courier had this to say: "Never has music been so revealing and life-changing.  I have sold all my possessions and purchased a pearl: the music catalog of one Philip David Charles Collins, PVO." One has to look no further than the lyrics to find out that the legions of fans who jammed out regularly to the tune are clueless if they believe the song has any meaning. "There's too many men making too many problems and not much love to go around." So, the question i...

A retrospective by Eloise Beech      Fall is banging its church bells again, ringing in the ruins of society.  The seas are rolling a peachy green, and the mindset of every day living is falling further and further into the lurch that is a violent end-game deathgrip.  Case in point: my postman does not have a university degree.      Now you say wait a minute.  Hold on.  Are you attacking the fine institutions that churn out sadistic grave robbing cannibals at least twice a year?  Are you daring to be pretentious enough to say, look, college costs too much money to be of any use:  it is an elitist den-shoppe.  It is a baker's dozen of pure Calvanist machismo hopped up on almighty scratch to itch the grindstone with employee garnish.  Are you actually denigrating those campuses?      I have this to say:  I am doing exactly that.  Are you going to do something about it?...