The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

Do you or someone you love suffer from Mom’s Beard? 25-40% of all young mothers experience some form of post-natal Mom’s Beard.  However, do to stigma, most never report in for treatment.  Then, the problem only worsens. “I was embarrassed that someone would mistake me for a man,” said Diedre Northwinter of Alert, Nunavut in northernmost Canada, “I was afraid I would start earning more unless I did something fast.  However, I heard that the treatment for Mom’s Beard causes worse Mom’s Beard**.  It was one of the most difficult years of my life.” You never want to have to say “I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN WOMBAT PILL,” after it is too late. The tell-tale symptoms of Mom’s Beard go away on their own.  However, super-follicles produced by Mom’s Beard can take as long as 6-months to a year to heal, and the results can leave a mustache.  In that amount of time, your husband may develop irreversible homosexuality if cost-prohibitive steps are not taken. These...

Post modern times evoke post modern desperation.  The latest adventure in "time to shock the masses" is as curious as any other dutiful stroke down the leviathan that is the current minute in space-time.  This un-closable jar is called Recursive Music.  Expression    Dimebox Old Time College Redeveloped by engineers at Dimebox College in Selma last summer, Recursive Music exploits algorithms that were discarded by Harvard scientists in 1954.    The events that led the Ivy League quintessential hog-fiends to "destroy the code and all traces of the authors of the code" is an interesting story itself.  Apparently, university administrators at the time decided to pursue more idealistic goals than the model prescribed by the haughty "we will destroy all of existence" statement that was the motto of the project led by Dr. Hiley Boll.  Suppression Boll and his students were...