A new social media site was launched this week by Holduperus, Inc. that will send life-threatening messages to hated public figures. Harnold Miller, who walked me through the prospectus at a barista on 22nd and Vine, explained carefully how he and colleagues noticed that common people secretly dislike model citizens and public leaders, they are jealous and feel betrayed by society because they are not them. The everydays wear that contempt like armor and marketers see its greenish-blue aura from their boardrooms. "It's kind of like toxic jealousy for adults," said Miller, chomping down on brisket with a sliced pickle hanging out of his lip, "you see it all the time on social media. It's called harassment or trolling. Presidents of U.S. have not been able to stop it, no matter how hard they've tried, and believe me, they've tried a lot." Miller could not give any specific examples of attempts by the executive branch to do anything about it, b...
From within a postmodern dystopia that is doomed to extinction, we go behind the scenes to bring you the REAL conspiracy, including fresh tips for time travelers.