Do you or someone you love suffer from Mom’s Beard? 25-40% of all young mothers experience some form of post-natal Mom’s Beard. However, do to stigma, most never report in for treatment. Then, the problem only worsens. “I was embarrassed that someone would mistake me for a man,” said Diedre Northwinter of Alert, Nunavut in northernmost Canada, “I was afraid I would start earning more unless I did something fast. However, I heard that the treatment for Mom’s Beard causes worse Mom’s Beard**. It was one of the most difficult years of my life.” You never want to have to say “I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN WOMBAT PILL,” after it is too late. The tell-tale symptoms of Mom’s Beard go away on their own. However, super-follicles produced by Mom’s Beard can take as long as 6-months to a year to heal, and the results can leave a mustache. In that amount of time, your husband may develop irreversible homosexuality if cost-prohibitive steps are not taken. These...
From within a postmodern dystopia that is doomed to extinction, we go behind the scenes to bring you the REAL conspiracy, including fresh tips for time travelers.