Preamble
We are all best friends.
Credo
stranger, acquaintance, friend, best friend
Thoughts
We remain all best friends. No one is less than best friend to anyone else. We are convinced that is the way that it must be for everything to be right. If one person is not best friends to anyone one other person, be it anybody else whatsoever, that is a technical foul on planet earth and we, the Society of Best Friends themselves, demand it be cleaned up with transparency, restraint, and accountability.
We aren’t going to bow down anymore to the ones who said, look, you can’t all be best friends, that isn’t what we like. They will say, that is not the way it was before, because before that, they will go on, people were either friends or they were best friends, but there was only one best friend. They were monoamicus as well as being monotheistic.
We are duotheistic, we believe there are exactly no less than two Gods of exactly equal purpose and extravagance, with equal claim to the first cause. Some people right out of the gate just assume these two Gods would fight, but that is not what they have ever done. Those who say that couldn’t be more wrong: these two Gods are actually, prepare yourself, best friends to one another! The only two Gods there are in the entire universe.
Nobody knows their names, they call them this or that, it doesn’t matter. The Only Two Gods do nothing to care about the universe and leave it all up to random chance the fate of innocent to the dogs and suffering of exposure. Every once in a while, The Two Gods swoop in to rend justice through mass violence, but pundits sneer, what about the nuclear explosion you allowed in between? Where are the goalposts this time from "on high"?
We understand this nature of The Two True Gods, we have come to terms with that reality of the universe (through overtime labor). That is why we designed the Society of All-Best Friends. When we are all as best friends, then we can trust everyone perfectly which will lead to extreme joy and elation across the globes!
Who doesn’t want to experience 12 billion counts of rapturous laughter all at the same time? Show me the person who says "not me", and I will show you something like it that is extreme one way or the other. Big or little. A little Exaggeration or a lot of understatement. You won't know it was coming, you will laugh probably unless you've already grown tired of it. Nonetheless, what have I to lose?
That is because my best friends, unlike someone who is not a member of the Society of All-Best Friends, are guaranteed. I cannot be turned down. This is an 800 number so I know it will be toll-free, where operators stand by, waiting, pressing, what is taking so long for them to call? This is not legal in the state of Brunei, a shithole they should wipe it off the map.
The nature of best-friendship, in a nutshell, is a reciprocal relationship. Did I also mention synergistic? When I said that word in Toronto, they nearly rushed the stage over it because in their language that means “your flag is a grease rag”. I was banned straight away.
When everyone is best friends, we are going to laugh about that together.
We are all best friends.
Credo
stranger, acquaintance, friend, best friend
Thoughts
We remain all best friends. No one is less than best friend to anyone else. We are convinced that is the way that it must be for everything to be right. If one person is not best friends to anyone one other person, be it anybody else whatsoever, that is a technical foul on planet earth and we, the Society of Best Friends themselves, demand it be cleaned up with transparency, restraint, and accountability.
We aren’t going to bow down anymore to the ones who said, look, you can’t all be best friends, that isn’t what we like. They will say, that is not the way it was before, because before that, they will go on, people were either friends or they were best friends, but there was only one best friend. They were monoamicus as well as being monotheistic.
We are duotheistic, we believe there are exactly no less than two Gods of exactly equal purpose and extravagance, with equal claim to the first cause. Some people right out of the gate just assume these two Gods would fight, but that is not what they have ever done. Those who say that couldn’t be more wrong: these two Gods are actually, prepare yourself, best friends to one another! The only two Gods there are in the entire universe.
Nobody knows their names, they call them this or that, it doesn’t matter. The Only Two Gods do nothing to care about the universe and leave it all up to random chance the fate of innocent to the dogs and suffering of exposure. Every once in a while, The Two Gods swoop in to rend justice through mass violence, but pundits sneer, what about the nuclear explosion you allowed in between? Where are the goalposts this time from "on high"?
We understand this nature of The Two True Gods, we have come to terms with that reality of the universe (through overtime labor). That is why we designed the Society of All-Best Friends. When we are all as best friends, then we can trust everyone perfectly which will lead to extreme joy and elation across the globes!
Who doesn’t want to experience 12 billion counts of rapturous laughter all at the same time? Show me the person who says "not me", and I will show you something like it that is extreme one way or the other. Big or little. A little Exaggeration or a lot of understatement. You won't know it was coming, you will laugh probably unless you've already grown tired of it. Nonetheless, what have I to lose?
That is because my best friends, unlike someone who is not a member of the Society of All-Best Friends, are guaranteed. I cannot be turned down. This is an 800 number so I know it will be toll-free, where operators stand by, waiting, pressing, what is taking so long for them to call? This is not legal in the state of Brunei, a shithole they should wipe it off the map.
The nature of best-friendship, in a nutshell, is a reciprocal relationship. Did I also mention synergistic? When I said that word in Toronto, they nearly rushed the stage over it because in their language that means “your flag is a grease rag”. I was banned straight away.
When everyone is best friends, we are going to laugh about that together.
Great delivery. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the good spirit.
ReplyDeleteAw, this was an exceptionally good post. Finding the time and actual effort to make a superb article… but
ReplyDeletewhat can I say… I put things off a whole lot and don't manage
to get nearly anything done.