Skip to main content

The Jasper Brothers – Hokey or Ho-come-on-now?

You would have had to have been marooned abroad in a worsening refugee crisis not to recognize the Jasper Brothers brand.  These two legends have lit up the silver screen with so many viral hyperbusters it would be hard for anyone not to recognize every fold on their face as well as other areas on their bodies that go behind the scenes.

A typical Jasper Brother film goes in low, builds energy, drops a bit, heads for the stratosphere, rubs God in the face, then returns to earth or your own particular planet of origin safe and sound but with a bit of a catharsis to go along with your new fresh perspective that leads to better Reiche spectrums along with a heightened sense of zen awareness.

Every film by the Brothers Jasper has a registered cult following.  Filmgoers flock to these things and they recreate every detail of cinematic artistry in their living rooms.  There is even a fan-based group whose membership requires prospective joiners to recite and even act out key scenes for every Jasper Brothers film from memory in 24 hours or less!

Gerund and Stark Jasper, who are the Jasper Brothers themselves, started out in the Midwest town of Eden, Montana when they were left on the doorstep… Okay, that’s pushing this schtick a little too far.

I can’t do this anymore.  I hate the Jasper Brothers!  They are fucking idiots.  Refugees.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wombat Pill Is THE #1 Doctor’s Choice for Mom’s Beard

Do you or someone you love suffer from Mom’s Beard? 25-40% of all young mothers experience some form of post-natal Mom’s Beard.  However, do to stigma, most never report in for treatment.  Then, the problem only worsens. “I was embarrassed that someone would mistake me for a man,” said Diedre Northwinter of Alert, Nunavut in northernmost Canada, “I was afraid I would start earning more unless I did something fast.  However, I heard that the treatment for Mom’s Beard causes worse Mom’s Beard**.  It was one of the most difficult years of my life.” You never want to have to say “I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN WOMBAT PILL,” after it is too late. The tell-tale symptoms of Mom’s Beard go away on their own.  However, super-follicles produced by Mom’s Beard can take as long as 6-months to a year to heal, and the results can leave a mustache.  In that amount of time, your husband may develop irreversible homosexuality if cost-prohibitive steps are not taken. These...

It’s a Long Way to the Top? Really?

If you wanna be a star of stage and screen,             Look out - it’s rough and mean - AC/DC It’s a Long Way To The Top, 1975, Albert Productions Australian hard rock sensation AC/DC released their rock anthem It’s a Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll) nearly 40 years ago in 1975.   The band’s fifth single, Long Way reached the ninth spot on the Australian charts and is widely considered by critics to be the legend Bon Scott’s signature hit.   To add to its prestige, it was recently included in the Australian National Registry of Recorded Sound .   However, the entire premise of the song is fabricated – AC/DC and the Brothers Young actually became internationally famous rock stars within one year after releasing Long Way . Malcolm, Angus, and George Young recording in 1972. Let there be rock Malcolm and Angus Young, key to AC/DC’s raw sound, are the younger brothers of G...

Dr. Steady Speaks at Carpenter

Below is a transcript of a speech delivered by Dr. Mary Steady of the Archana Research Department of the Trilogy Center Column: "We can't go on together with suspicious minds.  This has to end today.  You KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU FOOLS!" "A nation cannot go on like this.  When you have one person holding up justice - when you have two states.  Now, we are a divided state, and it is caused by one man and the idiots who support him." "I am not talking about myself.  I am talking about none other than you-know-who I mean.  He lives in our society like a germ.  He is a sudsy virus taking up a stubborn residence in the pristine cavities of a nasal nativity.  This is an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS you TERRIBLY BLIND masses!" "I cannot no longer stand this!  We cannot have two narratives.  It is going to derail us on the long leg of the trip.  It is fixing to explode in the caboose!  We have to do something to stop it.  We...