The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

by Wendy Pill Guest writer Great companies are not just made - they are spawned from Hell.   They are psychopathic super-individuals that pound everyone and everything in their sight.     Today, sadly, great companies are in decline with good and bad companies making up most companies.   Though this article will not deal specifically with bad companies, it is important to remember in the course of reading that bad companies are companies that make great companies turn into only good companies. One U.S. Dollar is now worth approximately 100 cents.   The one thing   Good companies do everything except one thing that great companies do – great companies measure once and cut twice; three times if necessary.   They cut jobs.   Should a hundred cuts be necessary, the difference between being good and great is that the great companies will cut a hundred while the good companies will stop after like twenty-two cuts. ...

by Della Ridge, guest-writer Never have so many died for so much to gain so little of the crumbs that were left for so few.   You cannot friend someone you don’t know or you will be punished. What Nazi spin-off thought up this rule? Doesn’t it all sound a bit Orwellian and somewhat Dickian ? Who should be charged with war crimes ? Are we to be tested like Job ? Will this be yet another poignant case where the bad men all get away with it and we only find out after top-secret documents are furtively leaked to the newspaper? So many unanswered rhetorical questions. O ne-percenters be like I, the author, performed fifteen minutes of online wiki-intense research and found out that three-time loser Barcus Leech was that mastermind of the dark conspiracy to keep friend requests and friend replies to an absolute minimum on social media.   This is the man who originally restricted use of his fashion-of-the-day blab site to university elite.   It shou...

If you wanna be a star of stage and screen,             Look out - it’s rough and mean - AC/DC It’s a Long Way To The Top, 1975, Albert Productions Australian hard rock sensation AC/DC released their rock anthem It’s a Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll) nearly 40 years ago in 1975.   The band’s fifth single, Long Way reached the ninth spot on the Australian charts and is widely considered by critics to be the legend Bon Scott’s signature hit.   To add to its prestige, it was recently included in the Australian National Registry of Recorded Sound .   However, the entire premise of the song is fabricated – AC/DC and the Brothers Young actually became internationally famous rock stars within one year after releasing Long Way . Malcolm, Angus, and George Young recording in 1972. Let there be rock Malcolm and Angus Young, key to AC/DC’s raw sound, are the younger brothers of G...

Our recruiters are currently seeking highly-intelligent, highly-motivated, highly-skilled, highly-recommended, and highly-attractive individuals to work under the shittiest conditions for one of the worst salaries and the worst benefits package in the galaxy.     Putting employees first [Company Name] is a family company with headquarters in [City].   Employing over a billion peasants and between 30 and 36 noblemen on 12 planets, in 2,196 countries, our agents speak 62,000 languages in 428,000 dialects.   It is our mission to trek across the universe and sell something that someone else made to someone else, giving an invoice to all parties involved.   We specialize in bullshitting government as well as our customers and clients - but of all the people that we bullshit, rest assured that our employees come first. [Company Name] employees applaud a major decision that will ruin their lives. Qualifications: PhD in Mathematics ...

New app delivers honesty with burning consequences; Faculty at Flagstaff religious school perish; Philosophy professor explains the Hegelian dialectic, few understand what he meant; Just in time for the holidays. Smack Dab - This week Silicon Valley's leading hipster global think-tank Bird Bees Digital (BRDB) announced the upcoming launch of its newest vehicle Hotpants ($0.99, Android and iOS, available December 20), an app that ignites trouser and skirt hems of those speaking falsely within a 5 meter radius of the user.  The beta version of the app, launched this month, has raised concern most notably among clergy and lawmakers, who have stated that Hotpants will shut down church and state, as we know it, indefinitely.  "You must reeelize," said Senator Morgan Morgan (F-WI), "every truth in our society is based on a series of blatant, outright, and profound lies.   It is pandemonium on demand, is what it is.   If we, as elite bureaucrats, cannot ...

  3 ,000,000 alien egg siblings coming of age across globe; bullying of sea youth by insecure humans on the rise; Christians will take up arms and destroy society; Antichrist to be born in Smack Dab tonight; outlook: gloom. Ocean babies Blinsy Maalork along with 2,999,999 sibling eggs traveled to earth in a mother ship originating from Taibl, a level three hyperplanet believed to be in the reaches of the Arp 220 collision trail 77,000 parsecs from Earth.   To give you some perspective, when she began her trip, the earth was three weeks old - a flaming hairball of itself. Half a billion years later, the space eggs fell randomly across Earth’s oceans during the Hadean eon, and quickly sank to the seafloor.   Known to the ancients for making whimsical garden ornaments, the orbs were considered fossils until about 12 years ago when scientists began to notice the alien eggs were turning up on beaches and hatching into apparently normal Earth babies that seem...