Skip to main content

How To Blog


Granny’s 14 Points

Steps to Success




  1. If you want to blog, you should definitely blog.
  2. Remember that everyone wants to hear what you have to say.
  3. Pick a topic that will sell any style of shoe. 
  4. Write crazy and dangerous things.  It is also good advice to violate key rules of grammar and punctuation. 
  5. Create buzz by visiting your blog from public computers all over town, being sure to click on the ads.  Experts say that clicks count.  Also, leave anonymous comments like: “this is the greatest blog EVER.”
  6. Share your blog with facebook friends and guilt them into liking it.
  7. Get plenty of exercise.
  8. Brag about your blog at any reunion.
  9. Create a religious cult and a facebook group with links to your blog.
  10. If you don’t know how to write, copy text (and photos) from other sites and paste them onto yours (ctrl+c to copy, ctrl+v to paste,).
  11. Keywords are words used by search engines to categorize your blog.  You only need one keyword: bigtime.
  12. Post a manifesto on your blog and stage a non-violent coup.  Post a video of the coup and include a link to the manifesto.  Relinquish control back to the original regime in stages, meeting timetables and guidelines. 
  13. Rewrite history the way you think it should have happened from a strange perspective.
  14. Advertise in the neighborhood weekly.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Now be honest.

Popular posts from this blog

Wombat Pill Is THE #1 Doctor’s Choice for Mom’s Beard

Do you or someone you love suffer from Mom’s Beard? 25-40% of all young mothers experience some form of post-natal Mom’s Beard.  However, do to stigma, most never report in for treatment.  Then, the problem only worsens. “I was embarrassed that someone would mistake me for a man,” said Diedre Northwinter of Alert, Nunavut in northernmost Canada, “I was afraid I would start earning more unless I did something fast.  However, I heard that the treatment for Mom’s Beard causes worse Mom’s Beard**.  It was one of the most difficult years of my life.” You never want to have to say “I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN WOMBAT PILL,” after it is too late. The tell-tale symptoms of Mom’s Beard go away on their own.  However, super-follicles produced by Mom’s Beard can take as long as 6-months to a year to heal, and the results can leave a mustache.  In that amount of time, your husband may develop irreversible homosexuality if cost-prohibitive steps are not taken. These...
10 comments
Read more

It’s a Long Way to the Top? Really?

If you wanna be a star of stage and screen,             Look out - it’s rough and mean - AC/DC It’s a Long Way To The Top, 1975, Albert Productions Australian hard rock sensation AC/DC released their rock anthem It’s a Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll) nearly 40 years ago in 1975.   The band’s fifth single, Long Way reached the ninth spot on the Australian charts and is widely considered by critics to be the legend Bon Scott’s signature hit.   To add to its prestige, it was recently included in the Australian National Registry of Recorded Sound .   However, the entire premise of the song is fabricated – AC/DC and the Brothers Young actually became internationally famous rock stars within one year after releasing Long Way . Malcolm, Angus, and George Young recording in 1972. Let there be rock Malcolm and Angus Young, key to AC/DC’s raw sound, are the younger brothers of G...
5 comments
Read more

The Astonishing Not Coincidences

The following articles may seem like coincidences, but, upon close inspection, it is revealed quite clearly that they are anything but.  It is further mostly a fact that most of them are, in fact, not factual by any stretch of the meaning of the term.  We present them for your readership in the usual fashion, following a colon, to wit:      Jesus was born at night in a barn to Mary in Bethlehem.  Nero was born at dawn in a house to Agrippina in Antium.      When Jesus was born, it was said “this is the anointed one who is born of Mary and Joseph.” When Nero was born, it was said “That nothing but what was detestable, and pernicious to the public, could ever be produced of Domitus and Agrippina.”      When Jesus was born head first, three Kings attended his birthplace, and brought three gifts that they delivered to the parents: frankincense, myrrh, and gold.  Afterward, they left sober and were never heard from again. ...
Post a Comment
Read more