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Woman From Future Writes Forbidden Book


The view from inside a time machine looking out
 
 

Time Immigrant

 
One of the most daunting challenges of time travel has always been avoiding the dimension shift.  Because there are infinite universes in the multiverse, each containing infinite possibilities and an exact duplicate of you, your DNA handle, and the remaining soul, it is essential to stay within the same universe at all times.  Time travel is a very delicate art of perfect tuning.  One slight difference could mean that honorable people in this universe are dastardly criminals in another and vice versa.

However, trips to parallel universes do provide often very amusing stories that span the genre spectrum and encompass exciting, masterfully spun tales of grandeur.  Molly Jevais has compiled thousands of these real-life stories into one collection – Time Travel Anthologies Volume 2. 

Jevais, 32, traveled the epochs in search of pithy tales for two days in April.  The native of the future has always had a fascination with time travel, since she first moved to our time with her family from 2119. 

“It was a difficult adjustment,” she says of the move, “There are only 15 people alive in 2119.”

"I was told I needed to embellish my stories,” said Jevais during a media event, “but I refuse to compromise the truth.  I am not writing for the masses - I am writing for the Gods to read in ten thousand years and laugh their goddamned asses off.”

Critics from Muddy Creek have refused to review the work, citing an “absolute lack of any style” and its “classless and, might we say, perfidious descriptions of intensely profane subjects”.  Jevais, nonetheless, has found a huge following and has been called one of the year’s richest authors, even being turned down by some of Fort Worth's most exclusive residential towers.

“We still don’t like her,” read a tweet posted by Muddy Creek Monday.

Drawing controversy was one story of an elderly Finnish man who had time traveled during a blizzard and ended up crucified in the place of Jesus Christ at Golgatha in 33 A.D.  Which was fine, except, in that universe, because of that incident, Christianity was stalled by over three thousand years.  This action violated Section 1 of The Universal Time Laws of 2943 and was touted by Christian and anti time travel groups as a pretense to confiscate time machines.  However, by posting billions of memes supporting time machine ownership and using crude rhetoric on every single social media monopoly across the galaxy, the time machine advocates kept their time machines, sure, but at what cost?  

Though Jevais is quite smug in her achievements, more mainstream critics are quick to point out that her work has not been published and that her manuscript has been critiqued by only a handful of industry "pencil trash."           

Update

 
Stories leaked Sunday revealed that new government restrictions instituted under the Patriot Act have banned the publication of Anthologies Volume 2.  No further discussion is allowed on the subject, according to planetary law secretly passed yesterday morning and signed by secret President Ben Fisher.

President Fisher was not available for comment, but duplicitous sources close to the Fisher administration say that the chief "pulled a Colonel Blake", being tricked into signing the bill by a psychic congressional aid.  Canned laughter was heard later echoing through the halls of Congress.  

 


Corporal Walter Eugine "Radar" O’Reilly
           

           
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