Dr. Foxy will be back in Cleveland Sunday to discuss his trip to Havana and South America. It should be an interesting talk this time. Not like last month, when Dr. Foxy appeared to speak about his trip to Vienna. During that meeting, if you remember, Dr. Foxy was asked to leave after a heckler induced him to shout extremely vile and sadistic comments about just about every race under the sun except for white.
"You got a stupid look on your face," said the heckler, a middle of the road tall boy from Minnesota named Steven Crawlman.
"Bleep bleep bleep bleep," said Dr. Foxy, "bleep bleep bleep."
The bleeps are placeholders for entire paragraphs that attack in each case one race with tirades and horrors the likes of which would make Hitler squeamish. It would make Reverend Hagee cry in his big boy jeans. Listen, the city went sick over it. There were so many riots coming from every conceivable angle that none of them could even riot at all. They kept getting in each other's way. The police declared a state of holy motherfucking shit what do we do now.
However, most everyone calmed down after a week of nothing but booze and robots bringing everyone booze. And Cars with robots driving booze into the city from everywhere. And Dr. Foxy was nonplussed all the way. But, in his defense, he had offended all of humanity. What good would it do to fret about that? Just move on, which is what he did.
So, two weeks ago, he took a sugar boat back to Cuba, where he is originally from. Dr. Foxy was born in Los Gatos Blancos in 1324. He was afflicted with a diseased that won't ever let him die, so he just tried really hard to make up for that by being a friendly traveler to the world. Well, in his travels, he learned doctoring, and in learning doctoring, he learned how to better travel, and so on.
Well, Dr. Foxy is back now, and he says this time, he has learned how to act in front of a typical Cleveland audience. He says let's put it behind us. Let's just forget it ever happened, and the response has been, largely, furk the heel no you old ugly sicko.
Even though probably no one will be there, and even though anyone who does show up will probably not come without a blow torch and truck full of fuming gas ready to go, listen, they bought up all the grease in town for this thing. Some have said some mean things.
"We are not letting Dr. Foxy exit the stage without putting a trillion volts through his spine," said a person who asked to remain nameless, "we are going to play Nights in White Satin, and just let that be our message."
"After what Dr. Foxy did, I don't think we can frogive it this time," said Todd Frogger, "last time, we were already needing to see certain behavior that we were already not seeing, but now, this is biblical in my book. And I damn as sure as heel won't allow it to be normalized or else then they will just be emboldened the next time, just like the time before, the time before that, the time before that, the time before that, the time before that, and ven the time afore that to begin with."
"I wouldn't say it is biblical," said Nancy Mood, "I would say it is a stormfront related to the end times, that is it. Not biblical. Jesys, that is a gross overstatement. Biblical. Not even close honey. Just a stormfront of the end times, little more than that. That someone would say it is biblical is beside me, I am beside myself, and there is no way in heel I can even continue. Where is my government when I need a government, the same government that is always there just as sure as shite when I don't need it."
"I am not sorry at all," said Dr. Foxy, "why should I be sorry? Racism is over. We quit racism like a million years ago or more. We stopped being racist right around the time Adam and Eve were not even conceived yet. America is perfect. All we need to do is educate the kids to keep believing that no matter what. Just because I said something, now I gotta be sorry? Shush. I am in shock. Shucks. I am just going to focus on getting more patriotic educations for my grandykids, and to try and find a way to make others stop thinking those thoughts as quickly as possible, because that ain't fair to me now."
Be sure to show up early because Dr. Foxy may warn security to catch latecomers and give them a talking to about banning any education that is not sanctioned by the 1984 commission. Created by Dr. Foxy, it is designed to bring things back to 1984, "when highball Ronny Charelie was presidnet and all the world loved it so fucking much all the time and not one person ever complained at all. Cans of soup were 1 dollar. A gallon of gas was 1 dollar. A pack of cigarettes was 1 dollar. Two bits and a hair cut was one dollar. Time is of the essences cost only 1 dollar. Friends were 1 dollar. Apartments were 1 dollar per room. Beer was 1 dollar per beer. Sandwiches were 1 dollar. A gallon of soda was 1 dollar. All things cost 1 dollar and music was 1 dollar and songs were 1 dollar. You can't beat that. Don't even try."
Saying we need more patriotism is like saying we all need to breath with our lungs. It is like saying, be sure and get the air in your lungs. And when someone says, okay, they say, that is not enough! You have to LOVE BREATHING YOU CRIMINAL OF THE HEART!
Never mind, says Dr. Foxy, just show up at each and every talk and enjoy it.
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