The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

  3 ,000,000 alien egg siblings coming of age across globe; bullying of sea youth by insecure humans on the rise; Christians will take up arms and destroy society; Antichrist to be born in Smack Dab tonight; outlook: gloom. Ocean babies Blinsy Maalork along with 2,999,999 sibling eggs traveled to earth in a mother ship originating from Taibl, a level three hyperplanet believed to be in the reaches of the Arp 220 collision trail 77,000 parsecs from Earth.   To give you some perspective, when she began her trip, the earth was three weeks old - a flaming hairball of itself. Half a billion years later, the space eggs fell randomly across Earth’s oceans during the Hadean eon, and quickly sank to the seafloor.   Known to the ancients for making whimsical garden ornaments, the orbs were considered fossils until about 12 years ago when scientists began to notice the alien eggs were turning up on beaches and hatching into apparently normal Earth babies that seemed to take care of