The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

You have bugs, don’t hide it like I used to.  When you want to be rid of them, what happens?  They come back every time land five legs upside down in your garlic toast.  For God sakes, do what I do, call You’re Dead To Me Pest Control today. They live in your house and they won’t leave your empty pizza boxes alone.  They reproduce there and fly at you on lonely summer nights when the cats are sleeping!  Holy goddamn shit!  That’s not helping you live the good life, or is it?  Not to me it ain’t. Ever have a bug get on your food?  Ever see an ant mob riot on some forsaken locust then maintain a careful supply line as they hack pieces off it with their rine-corn teeth before they double time it back to the nest ramps with guts and antenni bulging from their backpack-saddle? Get some bug spray that doesn’t kill bugs – it makes them feel guilty about the situation of their lives.  That way they stay hidden in the baseboards.  We use a patented revolutionary process called grassli