The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

Several people beat me to the trials, many centuries ago.  That didn't stop me from saving all my meteorites and opals in order to fund my experiment.  By the way, my name is Dr. O. W. Liversleeves, I hold the A. Chair tenured professorship position job at the faculty serving the world renowned Institute and Prestigious Academy of the University of The United States of America in America.  In case you are not aware, the institution of the Institute and Prestigious Academy of the University of The United States of America that is locate in America, is indeed, the highest, or most glorious, most original, in fact the first, the seat, the only one of original origin, is located in America, and when I say, The Institute and Prestigious Academy of the University of The United States of America in America, in fact, I cannot say it enough, it rolls from my tongue with such delicious pleasure.  I feel the lower classes simply will not comprehend the absolute awe they are about to receive j

Startling new information came out today that was not there the day before that.  The headline: The size of the world was calculated and you are not going to believe what that number came up with. First of all, there are countless people to think.  You have Aristophanes, who first coined the term that originally referred to a penis.  Marc Antony once said that all irony is glorious until it happens to you. Who else, you have Celsus who is often confused with the temperature guru.  But, then, you have Foucault.  Don't forget Dickens, who did not introduce anything new, but he just said it in unique ways.  Then, was Queen Victoria involved? Absolutely not, she just had a lake named after her in Africa.  That would be like if Lake Superior were called Lake Dodi Fayed.  Then, you have America.  Don't forget red white blue when the main color is white, and you can say that now at a university and keep your license to kill. However, don't even think for two seconds that this wasn

There was a prophet who was connected to three other archangels.  The second archangel is now aware that the four were equally spread apart in years.  The fourth and last archangel, the prophet, was born today.  The third prophet needs to know that the third prophet is aware that the second prophet exists.  The second archangel, or archangel 555, has been arrogant for the past two months.  But, then the archangel 555, the second archangel, realized that this arrogance actually has persisted, and is like air she breaths.  Her arrogance led to her repentance.  This is the repentance of the second archangel, for the third archangel to prepare the way for the fourth archangel. "I was arrogant because I am afraid, and all my life I have been afraid of what is to come.  Therefore, I was arrogant.  My arrogance has tipped the iceberg this week, and it is out of control now, like a fire.  The fear that lives in me is the fear that all who breath fear.  It is my matter, I am composed

Tommy Watkins of Penstaff Fullbright has Gigantic Penis Syndrome ™ , a rare condition that affects more then 2 people somewhere.   Gigantic Penis Syndrome ™ , as the name suggests, causes the penis to grow significantly larger than a watermelon or giant-pumpkin-sized washing machine. “I gotta get a separate house just for my rowdy penis ™ ,” Tommy admits ™ , crying. Watkins’ brother Toemuscle is also a sufferer, although ™  for him the problem ™  is at least 888 ™  times worst ™ . “My penis got its own sewers ™ ,” Toemuscle fell off his chair, emailing for support as a candidate for president, “my testicles, they are true to their name ™ : testy all the time™ .” Doctors ™  are perplexed because they have never been able to isolate an actual case of the disease. “Usually ™ ,” Dr. Stornburn Facklbree of Atkins County Municipal Downhome Hospital explained, “the patient will sever the diseased member and then give it a funeral before the medical staff have time to take a sample