Showing posts from April, 2015

Stairway Of Doom: Boxers Pose Imminent Threat To Stair Climbers

There is one thing that is apparent from within this post-apocalyptic train wreck: the machinery is grinding to a stuttering halt. The very depths of souls are leaching into a seething abyss. No one is safe. Everyone is in danger every second of their lives. Death brings a certainty of not being killed but even then there is final judgment looming to tack on the eternal damnation of a fiery nowhere beneath a totalitarian guard tower, what Father Hitchens called "a lash to exalt the lashes".

It is no wonder, then, that we nowadays more regularly see such legislation as was introduced Thursday in the Gulag by the serpentine Rev. Guyman Starhound, the Staberterian from Halifax. Under the new bill, boxers are forbidden from using public stairs. Additionally, all stair takers will be required to show paperwork that proves they are not boxers.
Slippery dope
Starhound, in defense of his position, cited his belief that boxers would hide their credentials, dress in street clothes, po…