Today's Birthday: The sun is in the sky today, except at night. The moon will probably be out at night unless the ceiling gets in the way as usual. Well, you're a year older. If you are very old, then that means you will probably not be alive more than 100 more years, but if you're young, you may have over 100 more years to live. So, use it wisely. You will work your job, for awhile, then your pension will be stolen and you'll be homeless. Your family will disown you and the world will forget you ever existed. That may happen sometime later. You are the underdog, the maverick. It is time to take guns to work, and show those bosses just how much you mean to them. Either way, you will be taken care of after unless you kill less than a billion people. ARIES (March 21-April 19) You've been sitting around too long. It is time to do something with your life, and not any of that nonsense you've been doing. Listen, life is not a series of random happenin
From within a postmodern dystopia that is doomed to extinction, we go behind the scenes to bring you the REAL conspiracy, including fresh tips for time travelers.