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Showing posts from November, 2014

Blender Manufacturer Admits Buttons All Perform The Same Function

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In a surprise bold move executives at moxycorp, makers of the popular Colonel Tornado brand blender line, announced Sunday they are eliminating all but one button on their newest design.  According to engineers the uni-button, labeled 'mix', makes it easier for consumers to decide where to stab their dirty fingers when it's time to grind.



Several spectators of the event have been diagnosed with acute mental breakdown. 
"The extra buttons were a sham," admits Tom Court, design team lead at moxycorp, "we put them there as part of a concerted effort to dupe the masses.  In the 1950's there was this vain need to feel superior and the suits could always bilk the flat-tops, whether it was over a pickup truck or a staple kitchen appliance was scarcely important."
Consumers were outraged but docile.  In fact, this article, the de factowhite paper on the subject, has never been syndicated to-date.
The irrefutable facts
"To be honest, I've known for ye…