The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

secrecy is an ommission the whole world spins like a top  it's on a loop privacy is an act of exactness by doing this privately, I am saying something secret means there is some reason to conceal what is that reason? is it the wind probably but or is it the sun yest  that one too but above all it is the rain, the rain, come on down the rain! why we conceal ourselves above a stone beneath a hutch? BECAUSE WE NEED TO BE DRY! because we need secrecy from the storm wherein these doors are soldier locks calculated oceans revolving on alligator lunge the one in the center is the one that becomes to be in secret means you know you're not supposed to do it in the open not supposed to do it in the open to be in secret any act done secretly  is by definition one hundred percent wrong yet necessary and therefore a danger that must be put under cover to see that! to imagine that! Mostly, I think of using the bathroom, but there are other interpretations, and there are not many others with

The Four THE BOARD Decision Maker-Maker-Watcher how do you get on the board? you "BUY INTO" the company you exchange surplus freedom you have bagged Nobody is trading sunleaves for seat-rights necessarily,  but if they are selling, by chance, that is the opportunity you are waiting for, and you have to be in line already even though you don't know when it will be available this assumes you are not already in, which, if you are are already in (out), you can just go right up, skip the line, shop around for a spot but, if you are not already in, you have to hop on when nobody wants your surfboard and then demonstrate you have gotten yourself within, or more properly without.   Then, like the simple demonstration of a a nuclear device bomb, even the insiders have to accept you, though, probably one of them will want to send you back, or force you back down to the labyrinth the prison, the plantation, the factory, the hospital just like you will too when someone else jumps in

Dr. Foxy was in town today or yesterday to talk about some stuff.  He got up to a podium.  He lifted the microphone because it was lowered for an earlier host. The gooseneck was rusted out, made sometime in 1865, probably in February, and it made a screech across the entire basketball court at the Arena.  All the people stared, waiting. Dr. Foxy did not disappoint the crowd of just average Joe's. "I have spent a great deal of time looking into the matter, and I have this to say. [5 minute pause where someone had to be taken out by paramedic and then airlifted to a super hospital].  I said, I have this to say: 66.666% of the people are beasts.  Those are very accurate numbers, we've run the tests over 665 times and the same results come back each time on the calculator.  This is an Internal Business Machines brand of calculator, so there is no chance the numbers are mixed up behind the scenes like those upstart Texas Instruments copycats.  No sur!" Dr. Foxy then looked

Dr. Ostentatious Doxy showed up in Cedar Rapids the other day to deliver his scathing commentary in response to Dr. Steady's most recent speech.   "This has gone on long enough," said Dr. Doxy while looking around the parking lot for his keys he dropped or lost and we never found out which, "Dr. Steady is out of control!  She needs to tone down her rhetoric as part of a three point plan for improvement." Dr. Doxy spelled out the points for the audience at the Arbor Glen Park Family Fiarre. "I want to announce, today, at the Arbor Glen Park Family Fiarre that Ich Bin Ein Berliner!" said Dr. Doxy, "I am just like you, so everybody listen.  Can you hear me in the back of the lot?  There are some keys out there somewhere, if you find them, the address is on the fob.  I SAID IT IS ON THE FOB!" "Dr. Steady is just as bad as Dr. Foxy.  She is ramping up her rhetoric. Up and up. Well, I say, ramp down that rhetoric.  Here is a hint, maybe don

Below is a transcript of a speech delivered by Dr. Mary Steady of the Archana Research Department of the Trilogy Center Column: "We can't go on together with suspicious minds.  This has to end today.  You KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU FOOLS!" "A nation cannot go on like this.  When you have one person holding up justice - when you have two states.  Now, we are a divided state, and it is caused by one man and the idiots who support him." "I am not talking about myself.  I am talking about none other than you-know-who I mean.  He lives in our society like a germ.  He is a sudsy virus taking up a stubborn residence in the pristine cavities of a nasal nativity.  This is an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS you TERRIBLY BLIND masses!" "I cannot no longer stand this!  We cannot have two narratives.  It is going to derail us on the long leg of the trip.  It is fixing to explode in the caboose!  We have to do something to stop it.  We can no longer pretend ou

Dr. Foxy will show up in Salt Lake City this weekend to try and come up with a solution to a problem the noted Doctor of All Things has been working on for decades. "I've worked on this project for 20 years," said Dr. Foxy waiting in line for the confessional at Harley's Bible Church College resort room, "so, I haven't found anything out.  That led me to think, this is a real nut to crack, Dr. Foxy." "And the problem is, I can't get it across to anyone," said the Furley Carpenter Gerkin Prize winner three years running while his hands were busy doing overtime, "is that people are just basically not there.  And when they are not there, they are also not here.  I think that is the part people have trouble with." "Dr. Foxy said we're not here," said Hernatisky Bogardowski, fierce party lead of the Foxy Partisans Salt Lake City Chapter 17, "so why are you speaking to me?" "I'm not a person," said

"I've reached the point where I do not have to be concerned about my future because it is already set," explained Dr. Foxy at the community kiosk on Fortage Street, "I have been there, I have seen it, and there is no longer any sort of requirement that I do anything.  In other words, I have it made." Chiropractor Dr. Doxy who was in the audience as usual had a few comments to make after the broadcast performance on a 5x5 stage. "That was a soapbox," said Dr. Doxy, grabbing at his thighs to wipe off the grease from an over made City Burger, which has a promotion, you buy one City Burger, you get your second City Burger at regular price plus a little more, "I just came to eat, I had no idea Rudimentis would be giving a talk, that old windstalker." "Here is what I mean," said Dr. Foxy, as the cars whistled by going down Fortage to the onramp, "I, unlike you, have enough foresight that I have seen the next 100 years.  I don't t

Dr. Foxy is going to be at the Rite Aid in Altoona next Arthurday.  You may be asking, well, what is he doing there?  Well, I will tell you.  Just calm down for a second.  You're rushing me. Dr. Foxy stands as the only man in the world who could possibly save the planet and the moon.  "The moon is often forgotten about," said Dr. Foxy, "because it is not always there, is it?  Just goes to show you, you better show up and pray with a full light.  I want to tell the people that prayer does work.  Despite the pundits who say, look, no it doesn't.  Well, not for them it doesn't.  Just like the half-moon, everybody including Gods forget who we are talking about." "But, you have to save the moon too.  You can't just save the earth.  Think about the tides and things.  Think about the TIDES AND THINGS you FOOLS!" There is a lot of confusion among the Foxy Partisans, and Dr. Foxy says the speech in Altoona will give the perfect opportunity to shed s

The Doctor of All Things, Dr. Rudimentis Foxy, was on stage at Keloland Circustown Arena Friday after sunset to spread the message he has wanted to for years.  His keynote message was a firebrand against arrogance. "I came to see Dr. Foxy," said a watcher who sat in a seat on the floor of the auditorium, "so, that is why I am here." "Dr. Foxy is in Keloland," said a side piece after raising his hand and being acknowledged to speak.   There was a harsh tone as Dr. Foxy asked all men to leave their women and children at the home front doing chores.  Meanwhile, a team of Foxy loyalists took everyone's phones (many complained they were never returned, Dr. Foxy commented later, "that is the way it goes.") "I came out to listen to what Dr. Foxy is going to describe," said some t-shirt around the back row, "so, that is why I showed.  I don't know about everyone else, I've never met them.  The crowd is unknown to one another.&q

Dr. Foxy was at the border Friday before sunset to discuss his concerns that billionaires don't get enough attention or respect.  He pointed to a Times article that made the wild, and in Dr. Foxy's opinion completely untrue, claim that members of the capital elite are fudging their numbers - some have even claimed they have zero.  Others pointed out the banks are all in the red everyday they are in business (despite the fact it is illegal to say this). "You can't go around saying that billionaires don't have 87 billion, 92 billion, 12 billion, whatever billion.  Make sure it's not trillions, I get that.  But, make sure you say, oh, such and such, who has xx billion. Don't just say such and such.  That sends a red flag," Dr. Foxy spoke before a morning rush crowd at a busy intersection. "People with wealth have to be flouted with high numbers.  Quit saying those numbers are not true, or made up, or fabricated.  I don't like it when I hear someo

Dr. Foxy was in Ohio Friday to sell his new proposition for altering space-time to the benefit of mankind.  This is in sharp contrast to his last speech on the subject, given in Berlin, where he was criticized for creating methods that would adversely affect all of creation. "I was wrong to insinuate going back in time to kill the pre-Gods was a great idea," said Dr. Foxy at an informal gathering at the Reichstag, "Now, I want to offer one solution that I have found that meets both criteria for elegant space-time alterations that come with no cost, one, and that can be applied without electronic devices that use fossil fuels, two.  Therefore, I want you all to join me Friday in Steubenville, Ohio." Boos filled the audience when he mentioned fossil fuels.  The reason for that is the term has come to signify a pejorative term applied to deads whose bodies were used as kindling for massive energy projects, called beige energy.  Someone said, that is offensive to those

Dr. Rudimentis Foxy was in Louisville again Shutterday to discuss his proposal to bring Feel Good History back to schools and to forget about what really happened. Feel Good History Feel Good History is known as high school history.  It is where all the outcomes of the past are smoothed over.  It is how a criminal tells lies to a victim. "Hey, you took my meaning, my money, my freedom," says a victim. "No, I helped you," says a criminal who is holding onto sunlight and using it to get more sunlight over others who don't know the truth. "The problem is only that people have become aware of the situation," said Dr. Foxy into exactly 36 microphones, "it has nothing to do with what happened.  We can say anything that happened five minutes ago no longer matters.  We can just put a lid on the whole events, because, remember, human beings are not going to find out if we don't teach them.  Forget it.  We keep a low bar in our minds, when we think of o

Dr. Foxy spoke at a news conference Umpday, giving a clear picture of his newest goals. "I want to eliminate packaging that is too difficult to unwrap," Dr. Foxy screamed standing just outside his copter in Bristol, "I bought an ounce of cannabis Twiceday, and get it right, that motherfucker was a holocaust to open.  It was Adolf Hitler's dream packaging.  This is how it started in Berlin, with the cellophane just a little bit wrapped too tightly, until the kiddies, poor kids, think of the kids killed by Nazis." When asked what he meant, Dr. Foxy in typical style refused to mince terms. "If you are asking questions, you are probably a Gestapo, so I would be careful," said Dr. Foxy while chewing off the end of a giant cigar and spitting the end out until it landed in his beard, "A query is right out of the textbook of the NDSAP, the National German Worker's Party.  Every heard of it?  Nazis used a swastika for their badge.  It all started the s

The president was in town yesterday to talk about Dr. Foxy again.  This time, he spoke very well and was heard by everyone in the audience.  Last time, his mic was turned down so low that some people in the back of the room could not make out what he was saying which lead to some confusion when it was time to discuss Dr. Foxy's recent surprise decision to ban vinegar from the public without a permit. Which, as the president noted, was fool-hearty considering that vinegar is a valuable commodity used around the world as a general purpose food preservative.  What could possibly be wrong with something that preserves food?  Dr. Foxy said he doesn't like the smell. "I don't like the way vinegar smells," says Dr. Foxy at a meeting Friday, "it just sucks all the way around. It is terrible.  Have you ever smelled it?  I would rather smell vomit or terds or death than vinegar any day of the week.  I would rather smell asparagus laden urine or a fish kill in the dead

Dr. Foxy will be back in Cleveland Sunday to discuss his trip to Havana and South America.  It should be an interesting talk this time.  Not like last month, when Dr. Foxy appeared to speak about his trip to Vienna.  During that meeting, if you remember, Dr. Foxy was asked to leave after a heckler induced him to shout extremely vile and sadistic comments about just about every race under the sun except for white. "You got a stupid look on your face," said the heckler, a middle of the road tall boy from Minnesota named Steven Crawlman. "Bleep bleep bleep bleep," said Dr. Foxy, "bleep bleep bleep." The bleeps are placeholders for entire paragraphs that attack in each case one race with tirades and horrors the likes of which would make Hitler squeamish.  It would make Reverend Hagee cry in his big boy jeans.  Listen, the city went sick over it.  There were so many riots coming from every conceivable angle that none of them could even riot at all.  They kept g

Dr. Foxy gave a speech today that caused an outrage in the international secrecy community.  According to Dr. Foxy, there are over 1 million secrecy fanatics who believe they are the only ones to which God left a secret.  The leading doctor went on to say that it is causing "a bunch of bullshit". "First of all, let me tell you what their secret is," said Dr. Foxy, "I don't want to keep you in suspense, which is what they do.  Well, basically, what we would call a mad scientist existed roughly 6,600 years ago." "His name is given in various ways, but the main idea is, these names are just nicknames.  No one knows the real name of this fellow.  Also, bear in mind, people were slightly different then.  They did not die often.  If they died, they were resurrected in a pyramid using an ancient technique of DNA re-animation to regrow whole human bodies over a period of years.  They went in the pyramid dead, and walked out perfectly alive in perfect heal

First of all, this is a daunting task so don't be no flake.  Once you go in, you go all in, or you sink to the bottom of the toilet in a mess of sloppy sogged-out bathroom tissue. Dr. Foxy says most people wipe their ass wrong to begin with.  The research associate of the Tamborine Climber Society of Will Beach Florida Computer College Park Center said you have to dig in, go low, and never try to climb out too fast. "The biggest mistake is that people phase out before the job is done," Dr. Foxy explained over dinner, "you have a classic game of cat and bigger cat going on constantly, and don't forget, hamsters are not just diving in, according to my research, this is a bigger problem than is often realized, I'm afraid." There are five things to consider anytime one decides to keep their shitstacks in complete working order at all times.  First of all, keep a low key.  Second, don't hold out.  Third, keep up a steady pace.  Fourth, stand on the anus o

Forget everything I said before.  That is because over the course of a five days delirious winter storm in which I lumbered in bed lamenting my life in a state of anatomic panic and grave boredom as I looked out on a white lawn with Formica snow I was taken on a ride that I shall never forget at least until I do forget which I already did.  What have I been? I read a paragraph from Wuthering Heights and flipped the book across the room.  My next thought was to rip it into shreds with my bare hands.  However, an interruption, someone said to turn on the lights, and I said, "What's that?" Don't forget everything I said before like I said before, remember some of it again.  It took me a lot of time to say all that stuff before, I don't want it to go to waste.  That is more for you than it is for me if I'm being honest right now which I'm not. My tragedy was coinciding with the auspicious 36-year ice storm.  It wasn't even Easter for Christ's sake. The