Dr. Foxy Finally Explains Giving a Detailed Description of the Proper Methods Utilized in Cleansing One's Own Shithole or Ass Faucet

First of all, this is a daunting task so don't be no flake.  Once you go in, you go all in, or you sink to the bottom of the toilet in a mess of sloppy sogged-out bathroom tissue.

Dr. Foxy says most people wipe their ass wrong to begin with.  The research associate of the Tamborine Climber Society of Will Beach Florida Computer College Park Center said you have to dig in, go low, and never try to climb out too fast.

"The biggest mistake is that people phase out before the job is done," Dr. Foxy explained over dinner, "you have a classic game of cat and bigger cat going on constantly, and don't forget, hamsters are not just diving in, according to my research, this is a bigger problem than is often realized, I'm afraid."

There are five things to consider anytime one decides to keep their shitstacks in complete working order at all times.  First of all, keep a low key.  Second, don't hold out.  Third, keep up a steady pace.  Fourth, stand on the anus of giants.  Fifth, which Dr. Foxy explains is often overlooked even by the experts, is build a team.

"Teamwork is completely absent in the literature," Dr. Foxy says, biting down on ribs, "you take me.  I'm 5'5", 115 pounds.  But you see, I used to be a ball player, liker everyone, and I had hair, and my hair wasn't gray.  So, what I'm trying to say is, I put up with shit all day.  And that is how I learned, the closer one gets the farther one is when it comes to a clean and clear sphincter.  So many things can go wrong, even the best experts rarely succeed more than 1 in ten.  I said, that is a horrible reality to consider.  I said, I have to make a difference and I chose to write my paper last year."

Dr. Foxy is referring to his white paper, Gasping and Grasping: something like birth featuring the subtle art of an ideal butt movement.  When it was published in April of 1983, Ronald Reagan himself showed up at Dr. Foxy's house holding two completely customized M-16 rifles.

"He was ready to use them," Dr. Foxy held nothing back over his eggs, "Listen to me, I eat eggs for dinner.  You think I don't know what I'm talking about?  Reagan says, Foxy, you gotta stop what you're doing or else I'll blast you.  I says okay, I'm listening, so he goes on, to say, no more of these shit stories anymore."

The incident with President Reagan was required reading in Esquire volume 36 page 1122.  The State Department said the Department of Justice took it to the Pentagon where Chief of Staff Arbor Arbor Arner claimed, and in his defense he was under duress, that Reagan wanted to keep all the dirty assholes at the Reichstag.  

This explanation just didn't make sense.  We looked into it here, and came to this conclusion: something wasn't right with Foxy or Reagan's explanation.  We had to dig deeper than ever before to learn what came next.  I want to warn you, what I am about to lay out for you in detail is highly dangerous information that no one wants you to find out.

The Nazi Command in Berlin never fell.  The Axis powers won the war.  Benito Mussolini and Hirohito were betrayed by the Axis.  With the development of nuclear power, Germany reached world hegemony in 1945 with the bombing of Nagasaki.  Today, we live under a cryptic Nazi regime.  Our sovereignty has been lost for almost an entire century!  

That is why they have the phrase, "We'd all be speaking German." 

Dr. Foxy later explained it all to me, when he spoke again at the grocery store.

"That is why they have that slogan," Dr. Foxy explained while looking for a perfect Asian pear, "if the Nazis had won the war, we'd all be speaking German right now.  Because it wasn't true, at all in fact.  Nazi high brass who took over informed me that Hitler lived out the remaining days of his life in Palestine.  He coined the saying, to be his crowning achievement, to fool the Americans into thinking they were in charge of the world when all along, he and his clones were always ruling from Jerusalem."

Still, historian Ben Shapiro sharply disagrees with this assessment, speaking in a phone call recently.

"Okay, first of all, the Nazis lost okay, and second of all, Hitler is dead.  This is just more fake news and cancel culture of the radical leftist communist activists who sew divisions with talk of race theory and wanting to redefine the sacred arrangement between a man and a woman.  You know what?  Hitler is dead, you need to get over it.  His clones have not been stalking me, and I am not a Hitler clone.  I don't know if you've heard that, but there is a rumor going around, that I Ben Yakub Shapiro am Hitler's most beloved clone.  But you want to know what, that is more of the sort of ridiculous soundbytes you might hear from such media watchdogs as Media Matters, my nemesis.  They probably told you too that Hitler did not cry at all, and lived, and went to Palestine.  Well, I haven't seen Hitler in Palestine, so that means, he is definitely not in Palestine.  Plus, it doesn't even make sense!"

But questions still remain.  As a journalist, I believe it is imperative to ensure that all voices are allowed to speak, and if someone says Nazi Germany won the war, they should be allowed to say it anytime they want, at any college in America.  We need to consider all sides of an argument, and give them all equal weight in all cases no matter what.

Dr. Foxy, for his part, finished his eggs in silence, and refused to speak to me ever again after I published this article, exposing the secret Nazi regime that lurks under every nose.  If it were not so daunting, we could breath less heavily over our own shit pipe popes.