Dr. Foxy will be in Pendlewood Softpatch Civics Center to give controversial talk in his words 'to expose the fact that all people are not there'

Dr. Foxy will show up in Salt Lake City this weekend to try and come up with a solution to a problem the noted Doctor of All Things has been working on for decades.

"I've worked on this project for 20 years," said Dr. Foxy waiting in line for the confessional at Harley's Bible Church College resort room, "so, I haven't found anything out.  That led me to think, this is a real nut to crack, Dr. Foxy."

"And the problem is, I can't get it across to anyone," said the Furley Carpenter Gerkin Prize winner three years running while his hands were busy doing overtime, "is that people are just basically not there.  And when they are not there, they are also not here.  I think that is the part people have trouble with."

"Dr. Foxy said we're not here," said Hernatisky Bogardowski, fierce party lead of the Foxy Partisans Salt Lake City Chapter 17, "so why are you speaking to me?"

"I'm not a person," said just shaved head Peronify Daniels, a common Foxy Partisan with no qualifications and the look of a newbie non-starter, "so I should not be paying cover."

"Let me explain," Dr. Foxy had the look of someone going through motions with no real expectation that anything was getting through, "people are pathological.  If you go back 50 years, all people are responding to the facade of a carrot, not even the carrot.  They are so detached from themselves, there is no way for anyone to recognize it which is why I have such difficulty finding freedom paper for my research.  In these cases, when I find out, oh, all people are not there, it tanks all my work like Lebanon.  They are merely responding to stimuli the way gnats will gather before a storm and talk about safety concerns.  It is the same way when it floods, a lot of folks go, what, what happened, and wonder how it could happen when they have seen rain and bodies of water all their lives, and witnessed hundreds of floods, fires, wind in excess of a thousand miles per hour.  That is just the Arth.  That is how it goes."

"But people cannot hear these words.  For you see, when I tell them they are not there, because they are not there, and because they never heard anyone tell them they are not there, they cannot fall under the grasp of the knowledge by default.  They can't even work for it, the mind in that part of the synopsis is a stump that's not even sprouting new growth.  It is an appendage, what we call on Wikipedia a stub.  They can't listen, so I tell them, and every person looks at me funny.  I say, person, you are not here, and they look perplexed."

"Some people are here, I am sure of it," Dr. Foxy said with a final note of emphasis, "I just have not been able to locate them.  I guess we should hide, but I want others to know, I am no longer under the limitations of space-time so as long as that continues, we are all basically universal rulers.  When all people don't even exist, you see, there is no real concern for their every whim.  Sure, don't harm them when you can.  Sure, don't go out of your way, because that is a waste of resources."

Chiropractor Dr. Ostentatious Doxy could not believe his ears.

"I cannot believe my ears," Dr. Doxy said Wednesday at a knee party on the dermph side of town, "Dr. Foxy says we are not here.  I guess we can't hear.  I guess we should all stop listening to Dr. Foxy, what do you say Peronify Daniels?"

"We call you Dodo Doxy in our circle," Daniels quipped, "and that means you're a mean truant not here person."

"I'm here enough to slap you upside your fuzzy little head, Daniels."

"But it wouldn't disprove Dr. Foxy."

"It would do that and more!  Dr. Foxy is a madman!  Don't you get it?  He's telling you you're not here so he can continue to give all these speeches in every town and be given a pat on the back everywhere he goes.  Until you people wake up, you are right, you are not here. Not that I agree with Dr. Foxy.  Even the sun is right every day at noon."