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Chemtrail Pilots Wanted

Vril to hire 10,000 pilots for chemtrail program; President Obama announces White House worked with Boeing to develope chemtrails that are invisible to the eyes.

 
Phoenix – The Vril Society announced Friday that it is seeking to hire ten thousand pilots in launching its newest push to enslave the world’s population using controversial chemtrails.  The revelation came at a private dinner in a secret location believed to be an alien spaceport.  Potential candidates are urged to submit a resume and cover letter to www.vril.org.eu before January 15.
 
 
A local mother points out chemtrails to her shocked family.
“We just weren’t using enough gas,” said Green Bishop, a former chairperson of The Rand Corporation during a webinar on ureachforit.org Sunday, “adding pilots is like the best thing we can do.  Think about it.” 

Bishop went on to say that each plane will be equipped with tons of Sargon gas, pointing out that one milliliter will render a neighborhood helpless and “loopy”.  This is noteworthy because some experts say these effects will actually be an improvement in their behavior.

“Yeah, these kids play games all day long,” said Aran de Clare of Skull and Bones, “the average citizen these days is already lackadaisical.  The only problem is getting them to go outside.”

Sargon gas contains trillions of tiny microchips each roughly the diameter of an electron.  When inhaled, the microchips enter the bloodstream and cross the blood-brain barrier, attaching to neural junctions in the brain and altering key neuropaths.  The microchips reproduce themselves at an accelerated pace and within fifteen minutes the subject is completely under the control of the central computer in Kansas City, Missouri.  Every detail of thought and the five senses are visible from the command grid, including motor skills and memory. 

The memory stream stretches back much further than an individual’s own lifetime, because each person’s memory is transferred via mRNA at the time of conception.  Additionally, it was recently discovered that the memory stream extends into the future, though details of those memories have not been published and are currently strongly suppressed. 

Scientists were overjoyed to see the replacement of microwaves, previously the gold-standard in mind control.  Microwaves have a particular drawback in their application – individuals are able to evade the beams by placing aluminum foil on the crown of their head.  Unfortunately, those who employ foil to evade the system are clinically insane and even more in need of mind treatment according to psychologists.
 
"Foil doesn’t work on this.  We found the limits to microwaves just like the Soviets but now that we have new pilots and possibly drones carrying Sargon gas, we should have complete success by early next week.  Friday will very probably be the last day you will ever hear young people playing loud music all hours, I can be the first one to tell you,” said de Clare, who is 93.
 

Complimenting Vril’s announcement was a segue from the Oval Office over cigarettes and coffee with President Barak Obama and secret reptilian staff member Joyce Reeves revealing that Boeing, with the aid and support of the Obama administration, has developed invisible chemtrails and would be implementing them as early as Monday.

“I was looking out of my window last Tuesday,” explained President Obama, “from here in the Oval Office, and I said, ‘what is that white grid, there, in the sky?’  I had to ask, because I didn’t know.  Joyce came over here and she said, you know, ‘those are chemtrails.  We use them for mind control’.  I said I was aware that we were controlling minds; I just didn’t know the means we were using to achieve that end.  I was under the impression we were still using, uh, microwaves.  But, hey, you know, you learn something new everyday.  And I thought about it for a moment and said, ‘Joyce, why don’t we make them invisible to the eyes?’  We faced criticism from pundits in the Republican party, who said, look, it can’t be done.  Despite their efforts, we persevered and we succeeded in devoloping stealth chemtrails in under a week while they filibustered.”
 
President Obama unveils stealth chemtrails Thursday in Leeds.
 
It remains unclear as of Tuesday morning the extent of Bilderberg’s involvement in the program.


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