Vril to hire 10,000 pilots for chemtrail program; President Obama announces White House worked with Boeing to develope chemtrails that are invisible to the eyes.
Phoenix – The Vril Society announced Friday that it is
seeking to hire ten thousand pilots in launching its newest push to enslave the
world’s population using controversial chemtrails. The revelation came at a private dinner in a secret location
believed to be an alien spaceport.
Potential candidates are urged to submit a resume and cover letter to www.vril.org.eu
before January 15.
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| A local mother points out chemtrails to her shocked family. |
Bishop went on to say that each plane will be equipped with tons of Sargon gas, pointing out that one milliliter will render a neighborhood helpless and
“loopy”. This is noteworthy because
some experts say these effects will actually be an improvement in their behavior.
“Yeah, these kids play games all day long,” said Aran de
Clare of Skull and Bones, “the average citizen these days is already
lackadaisical. The only
problem is getting them to go outside.”
Sargon gas contains trillions of tiny microchips each
roughly the diameter of an electron. When
inhaled, the microchips enter the bloodstream and cross the blood-brain
barrier, attaching to neural junctions in the brain and altering key
neuropaths. The microchips reproduce
themselves at an accelerated pace and within fifteen minutes the subject is completely
under the control of the central computer in Kansas City, Missouri. Every detail of thought and the five senses
are visible from the command grid, including motor skills and memory.
The memory stream stretches back much further than an
individual’s own lifetime, because each person’s memory is transferred via mRNA
at the time of conception. Additionally, it was
recently discovered that the memory stream extends into the future, though
details of those memories have not been published and are currently strongly
suppressed.
Scientists were overjoyed to see the replacement of microwaves, previously the gold-standard in mind control. Microwaves have a particular drawback in their application – individuals are able to evade the beams by
placing aluminum foil on the crown of their head. Unfortunately, those who employ foil to evade the system are
clinically insane and even more in need of mind treatment according to psychologists.
"Foil doesn’t work on this.
We found the limits to microwaves just like the Soviets but now that we have new pilots and possibly drones carrying Sargon gas, we should have complete success by early next
week. Friday will very probably be the last day you
will ever hear young people playing loud music all hours, I can be the first one to tell
you,” said de Clare, who is 93.
Complimenting Vril’s announcement was a segue from the Oval
Office over cigarettes and coffee with President Barak Obama and secret reptilian staff
member Joyce Reeves revealing that Boeing, with the aid and support of the Obama administration, has developed invisible chemtrails and would be
implementing them as early as Monday.
“I was looking out of my window last Tuesday,” explained President
Obama, “from here in the Oval Office, and I said, ‘what is that white grid, there, in
the sky?’ I had to ask, because I
didn’t know. Joyce came over here and
she said, you know, ‘those are chemtrails.
We use them for mind control’. I
said I was aware that we were controlling minds; I just didn’t know the means
we were using to achieve that end. I was under the impression we were still using, uh, microwaves. But, hey, you know, you learn something new
everyday. And I thought about it for a moment and
said, ‘Joyce, why don’t we make them invisible to the eyes?’ We faced criticism from pundits in the Republican party, who said,
look, it can’t be done. Despite their efforts, we persevered and we succeeded in devoloping stealth chemtrails in under a week while they filibustered.”
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| President Obama unveils stealth chemtrails Thursday in Leeds. |
so funny!
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