Skip to main content

Things a Bum Will Probably Do With Your Spare Change

1.  Buy 50 gallons of gas and burn a Baptist Church.

2.  Get a hotel room and masturbate on Gideon's bible.

3.  Make an initial deposit in a bank account that offers a promotion for opening a new account, never use the account, then close the account once the probationary period is passed and the promotional bait is received.  This is effectively taking advantage of the very trustworthy banking firm.

4.  Buy a camera and film police brutally murder an unarmed minority being charged with one crime: resisting arrest.  We will learn later on the news that police were only doing their best and the victim had a history of expressing human dignity which aroused the sadism in the arresting officer.  Law enforcement, being white men with a few odd tokens of diversity, will be fully exonerated in the incident and be given paid leave.  

5.  Stage a military coup in a country that hasn't been heard from lately in order to turn the public mind away from a more important societal issue or personal scandal of a high-ranking public official.

6.  Donate the money to the Democratic Liberal Party.

7.  Pay mafioso to effectively blind window washers so that all windows everywhere will become opaque within 6 months.

8.  Payoff school bus drivers to drop children off at different neighborhoods, effectively swapping all children, causing a generalized hysteria.

9.  Fail and then not realize that failure is the best thing that can happen opportunity wise.

10.  DVR the Super Bowl, then watch it later but fast forward through the commercials.  

11.  Build a McDonald's franchise from the ground up.

12.  Buyout the nearest neighborhood Christian bookstore and turn it into a sinner information desk and kiosk catering to at-risk youth, also living in the neighborhood.

13.  Become entrenched in multiculturalism, going so far as to support an open-door immigration policy.

14.  Exacerbate an otherwise balanced political issue like tort law reform or antitrust legislation by supporting those principles.

15.  Give the funds to other transients, who will then just give it to other homeless families.  Where does the chain end?  At the bottom of a liquor bottle.

16.  Throw a tailgate party in honor of Geraldine Ferraro.

17.  Craft a golden calf to be worshipped by other urban campers, effectively angering Yahweh.  I suggest we realize that we do not want to anger Yahweh again. 

18.  Start another unjustified war in the Middle East over a beef from the 1990's, ruining the world and causing its ultimate demise.

19.  Sell our jobs to China.  Here you go, China, some jobs.  I'll take the money in cash, thank you.  Oh, you'll also take land?  Fine then.  Here is jobs and land.  Would you also like fries with that?  No?!  What!!!  Fucking China, always gotta be serious.

20.  Speak out in reference to Donald Trump, Bill Cosby, and NFL domestic violence scandal in an online comment: "boys will be boys."

21.  Spend the money and not realize the importance of state's rights.

22.  Refuse to even consider any Libertarian rhetoric on the grounds that it is fundamentally flawed and therefore unworthy of discussion.  Spend the money, and say, "I will give no dignity to that statement my good man.  I am a Harvard Liberal through and through.  Handouts are my favorite device in all the land."

23.  Go home to his mansion and count the money in a vault, then phone all his friends and brag about how he makes a living.  Then drive in a Mercedes, then go buy large carat diamonds, then have things gold-plated, then start acting like a tycoon of old, and not be able to leave his own bedroom until he is forgotten and is only heard from again when he mysteriously dies 60 years later at the age of 120 and no one knows who he is or where he came from. Then, his billions will be used for good causes.  In a way, that is not bad, but what is bad - it all goes to charities to help the homeless.  Are you starting to get a picture of the vicious cycle?  Is this format reaching through to your hate centers?  If not, why not though?

24.  Go back in time and not purchase any of Hitler's paintings, directly contributing to the death of 60 million people.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wombat Pill Is THE #1 Doctor’s Choice for Mom’s Beard

Do you or someone you love suffer from Mom’s Beard? 25-40% of all young mothers experience some form of post-natal Mom’s Beard.  However, do to stigma, most never report in for treatment.  Then, the problem only worsens. “I was embarrassed that someone would mistake me for a man,” said Diedre Northwinter of Alert, Nunavut in northernmost Canada, “I was afraid I would start earning more unless I did something fast.  However, I heard that the treatment for Mom’s Beard causes worse Mom’s Beard**.  It was one of the most difficult years of my life.” You never want to have to say “I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN WOMBAT PILL,” after it is too late. The tell-tale symptoms of Mom’s Beard go away on their own.  However, super-follicles produced by Mom’s Beard can take as long as 6-months to a year to heal, and the results can leave a mustache.  In that amount of time, your husband may develop irreversible homosexuality if cost-prohibitive steps are not taken. These steps include completely cov

The Very Public Movement

secrecy is an ommission the whole world spins like a top  it's on a loop privacy is an act of exactness by doing this privately, I am saying something secret means there is some reason to conceal what is that reason? is it the wind probably but or is it the sun yest  that one too but above all it is the rain, the rain, come on down the rain! why we conceal ourselves above a stone beneath a hutch? BECAUSE WE NEED TO BE DRY! because we need secrecy from the storm wherein these doors are soldier locks calculated oceans revolving on alligator lunge the one in the center is the one that becomes to be in secret means you know you're not supposed to do it in the open not supposed to do it in the open to be in secret any act done secretly  is by definition one hundred percent wrong yet necessary and therefore a danger that must be put under cover to see that! to imagine that! Mostly, I think of using the bathroom, but there are other interpretations, and there are not many others with

Regarding the Labyrinth

The Four THE BOARD Decision Maker-Maker-Watcher how do you get on the board? you "BUY INTO" the company you exchange surplus freedom you have bagged Nobody is trading sunleaves for seat-rights necessarily,  but if they are selling, by chance, that is the opportunity you are waiting for, and you have to be in line already even though you don't know when it will be available this assumes you are not already in, which, if you are are already in (out), you can just go right up, skip the line, shop around for a spot but, if you are not already in, you have to hop on when nobody wants your surfboard and then demonstrate you have gotten yourself within, or more properly without.   Then, like the simple demonstration of a a nuclear device bomb, even the insiders have to accept you, though, probably one of them will want to send you back, or force you back down to the labyrinth the prison, the plantation, the factory, the hospital just like you will too when someone else jumps in