The President of the United States (formerly The Free World) has gone mad. It is in the newspapers, it is on the television reality shows, it is a tweet – President Barack Obama has lost his mind. This is not a joke.
Sources close to the White House (standing just outside the gates being harassed and openly murdered by Obama’s secret death drone squad) have reported Friday that President Barack Obama can no longer be considered mentally stable for any significant length of time or at all. They fear that his psychosis has spread beyond his brain, through the oval office, down the pentagram of Washington D.C., to all levels of government and mail carriers. And it has just been reported five minutes ago that Congress and The Supreme Court have gone in similar fashion, completely off their rockers - babbling on incoherently like some sort of drunken veterans of the Vietnam Police Action.
However, these hot-heads are not decorated war heroes. Instead, they are civil servants who are not only failing at their job - they are not even mentally capable of doing their job anymore. Furthermore, their jobs have become obsolete. Their desks have become a place to store old magazines and cockroaches. But all the whisky is long gone from the days of "Shotgun" Dick Cheney.
“Whenever three out of three branches of government go mad in the same week,” screamed John McCain as a helicopter landed nearby, “it’s Washington as usual - you still have to consider your options, build a coalition, and isolate the distraction with extreme violence.”
The state of Denmark is a rummage sale. Next week, what’s next? A signpost up ahead?
I thought I was the only one
Listen closely people umbilically connected to a smart phone with 1% battery power: we should not be underestimating the extremely delicate dynamics that are at work here. World domination is at stake. The walls of the United States are held up by a cardinal, original lie and a corporate bucket of sludgy spunk. Coffee has gone up a million points since noon Sunday in response.
It is time to wake up. We have leaders. Check one. Those leaders make decisions. Check two. When those leaders’ minds are not firing on all the right neurons, that is a problem. Ex one. If anything happens because of those nugget heads, it is going to directly affect you and/or I. Ex two. If that were to happen, you can forget about restoring order until 25,000 years after we are all dead. Ex three.
Studies have shown that worlds that are completely out of order are much harder to put back into order than worlds that are completely in order. It is called the Humpty-Dumpty routine. It is not really basic science, but it is earmarked basic science. The consensus view is certainly that it is basic science - that is not in dispute. However, it is worth mentioning that there is an opposing view that considers it very dangerous and elite science.
The science can be explained this way: the more in order something is, including worlds, the more likely it will stay in order. The less in order some world is, the less likely is the chance of regaining order. Basic math.
Therefore, because of these facts, our leaders being out of their minds is cause for grave concern. We should all put down whatever it is that we are doing now and really pay close hard attention. We don’t have an excuse anymore. You may decide to ignore this call to action but if you do, it would be impolite to act like you weren’t given a fair warning at some later inquisition.
You can’t hide anymore. When we first heard that the President of the United States was on the verge of losing his mind, in early January 2009, we listened intently. Many of us were arrested and called names like “stalker”, “busybody”, and given labels like "felon" and "a danger to herself and others". Most others ignored our sounding the alarm bells.
We want an inquest, when this is all over (and we are vindicated), we want it to be determined that with the early warnings that were already there, anyone who did not see this coming has a mental capacity rating of zero point zero percent. The baseline. We want this backward way of thinking to be considered the very baseline in thought paradigms, to be considered even lower than animal thoughts, not including elephants.
We will explain why this is important later if there is time. But first, let’s explore the facts that are in black-and-a-white, inerrant, undeniable, unequivocal, and with absolute certainty to be considered 100% facts, bar none, nolos monstrositos (without monster lies).
To prove that The President is suffering from a severe and chronic mental disease, likely contracted in Beirut, where it is now believed he was born and raised, we have prepared a list of observed acts committed by President Obama that give rise to the allegations against his mental structure:
It should now be apparent that we are sitting on some intense evidence that is going to quite frankly blow the lid wide open off the charts in the gutter to the moon out of town off the map beyond the pale blue yonder comes a sucka and she’s got my man.
Listen. Okay. Wait a minute. Stay with me here. President Obama is a raving lunatic sitting with his finger on the button labeled "the funk" that blows up the entire world. No wonder Michelle Obama looks upset. There is a reason for it. She knows what is happening. She is aware that he is bent on destroying the country piecemeal, one state at a time, county by county, sea to shining sea, all the way to Toledo on back to the Caroline. You got me here? Are you registering anything in that thickness you call a mind cover? Tilly tally bafangoo.
This has gone on long enough. What part of this rant don’t you get? Why are you staring there with your dumb little nose wondering what is happening? Uh. The end of the world genius. Crashing down around you, you are busy grabbing for more funions with a snide chuckle waiting to happen any second. How typical. How positively typical!!
Come down to earth for one moment, put the video on pause. Leave the planet “anything goes” and take a peak or two back at a little thing called reality every now and then, if you would, if you could find the time in your, as I imagine it, busy day. Get over yourself already, that is all there are - busy days and busier nights.
Okay, okay, Mister and Miss Big Stuff. Miss I-work-for-a-living in an “office setting”. Big deal. How trite. How tripe. So lame. So late. Get over it. Already.
You have to overcome your obstacles. Congress has issued an announcement that it will now decorate its chambers in the fashion-of-the-day 666 style known as “evil for now”. Created last summer by Dryden Casper, a teen artist with the charisma of ten slugs, with absolutely no sense of humor, a billion followers, his own media empire, and who is known to make his friends laugh by simply turning his wrist in a sly and suggestive manner. His antics were so sidesplitting among his peers (every time he raised his hand the class would faint in buckets of sweat) that he was banned from school permanently.
However, before he left, he was able to use school resources to design a space “clever enough for the devil but neat enough for the relatives.” A design idea so impossible, it was listed on the top 10,000 ideas that will probably never take off because they are unfeasible or impossible, one or the two, but not both. There was a further note that if it were something both unfeasible and impossible, then it would be considered nearly impossible that such a premise were not in fact completely possible, given certain new laws that mathematicians are just now working over in the basement to be announced at a time to be determined.
Well, anyway, you are taking us from the point. That is the way I read it. I’m sure it is open to interpretation. But that is my take. That’s what I got out of it. That is how I see it. That is how it looks to me. That is how I heard it. That is how it smelled to me. That, that is how it feels to me. That is how I swallowed it. That is the flavor I compared it to. That is how I would have done it, were it me. I know it was not me but if it was me that is how I would look at it had I had that particular choice in the matter and thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to explain.
I know, you may not agree. But if you don’t agree. I want to ask you. What the fuck is your problem and why are you always disagreeing with me every time I turn around?
What is it with you and your nose bobbing like a pendulum? You want to tell me that? All I see is the nob of a flesh colored strawberry popping up and down like some kind of menacing harbinger of a most uncertain fortune. Oh the positive dread of it all has me so in a way. The reader’s nose is the most wretched conceit known to humanist science.
Now listen you, don’t distract me again with your repetitive space jogging with those eyes that should be capturing the reflection of a tall Adonis with a chiseled body but are instead here stuck in a freshly-poured mess of lost story telling concrete boo-blah-blaa. Where is the beginning; who happened to what at the end? Where is a climax? Ask me that.
Don’t look at me. What am I, the narrator? Hahaha. No. What?! Made you think that?
Just because I came here to write you a story, now you think I’m the narrator. What ever happened to fiction? Where is a little creativity when you need it? Do you have a dollar with President Obama on the face? Yet? If not, just wait. It’s coming. It will be worth two dollars, but still, even though he gained us a lot with that, 100% increase, still, it has his name on it. Who is he to put his name on it? You know who else does that? A little man called Beezelebub. Ever heard of him? That little man? Get a clue.
So put it all to rest, your little conspiracy to hide from the truth. This is your casting call. This is your shining moment of decoration, where you must serve it or go home like a crybaby on stilts. President Obama has the mental competence of a Gila monster. Get used to it. Breath it in.
Everything he does is completely the exact opposite of the way he should have done it. If you want to know how to do something, see what Obama does and do the opposite. If you want to be a genius, ask Obama every question and give the exact opposite answer that he gives. If you want to feel good about yourself, realize you are actually as smart as the President of them United States of America. the POTUS who really showed us. But take a pause to notice that it doesn’t mean very much these days sister child.
Sources close to the White House (standing just outside the gates being harassed and openly murdered by Obama’s secret death drone squad) have reported Friday that President Barack Obama can no longer be considered mentally stable for any significant length of time or at all. They fear that his psychosis has spread beyond his brain, through the oval office, down the pentagram of Washington D.C., to all levels of government and mail carriers. And it has just been reported five minutes ago that Congress and The Supreme Court have gone in similar fashion, completely off their rockers - babbling on incoherently like some sort of drunken veterans of the Vietnam Police Action.
However, these hot-heads are not decorated war heroes. Instead, they are civil servants who are not only failing at their job - they are not even mentally capable of doing their job anymore. Furthermore, their jobs have become obsolete. Their desks have become a place to store old magazines and cockroaches. But all the whisky is long gone from the days of "Shotgun" Dick Cheney.
“Whenever three out of three branches of government go mad in the same week,” screamed John McCain as a helicopter landed nearby, “it’s Washington as usual - you still have to consider your options, build a coalition, and isolate the distraction with extreme violence.”
The state of Denmark is a rummage sale. Next week, what’s next? A signpost up ahead?
I thought I was the only one
Listen closely people umbilically connected to a smart phone with 1% battery power: we should not be underestimating the extremely delicate dynamics that are at work here. World domination is at stake. The walls of the United States are held up by a cardinal, original lie and a corporate bucket of sludgy spunk. Coffee has gone up a million points since noon Sunday in response.
It is time to wake up. We have leaders. Check one. Those leaders make decisions. Check two. When those leaders’ minds are not firing on all the right neurons, that is a problem. Ex one. If anything happens because of those nugget heads, it is going to directly affect you and/or I. Ex two. If that were to happen, you can forget about restoring order until 25,000 years after we are all dead. Ex three.
Studies have shown that worlds that are completely out of order are much harder to put back into order than worlds that are completely in order. It is called the Humpty-Dumpty routine. It is not really basic science, but it is earmarked basic science. The consensus view is certainly that it is basic science - that is not in dispute. However, it is worth mentioning that there is an opposing view that considers it very dangerous and elite science.
The science can be explained this way: the more in order something is, including worlds, the more likely it will stay in order. The less in order some world is, the less likely is the chance of regaining order. Basic math.
Therefore, because of these facts, our leaders being out of their minds is cause for grave concern. We should all put down whatever it is that we are doing now and really pay close hard attention. We don’t have an excuse anymore. You may decide to ignore this call to action but if you do, it would be impolite to act like you weren’t given a fair warning at some later inquisition.
You can’t hide anymore. When we first heard that the President of the United States was on the verge of losing his mind, in early January 2009, we listened intently. Many of us were arrested and called names like “stalker”, “busybody”, and given labels like "felon" and "a danger to herself and others". Most others ignored our sounding the alarm bells.
We want an inquest, when this is all over (and we are vindicated), we want it to be determined that with the early warnings that were already there, anyone who did not see this coming has a mental capacity rating of zero point zero percent. The baseline. We want this backward way of thinking to be considered the very baseline in thought paradigms, to be considered even lower than animal thoughts, not including elephants.
We will explain why this is important later if there is time. But first, let’s explore the facts that are in black-and-a-white, inerrant, undeniable, unequivocal, and with absolute certainty to be considered 100% facts, bar none, nolos monstrositos (without monster lies).
To prove that The President is suffering from a severe and chronic mental disease, likely contracted in Beirut, where it is now believed he was born and raised, we have prepared a list of observed acts committed by President Obama that give rise to the allegations against his mental structure:
- Got everybody health insurance, including individuals who did not have any coverage before.
- Stood up against injustice.
- Tried to reason with people.
- Asked for peace.
- Spoke kindly and with a smile reminiscent of a cute little baby who just had the best candy of his life and made us feel like we were connected to him personally, like we know him and are extremely fond of his character and personality.
- Gave the free world hope.
- Fed starving children in Africa, Asia, and 200 other countries.
- Allowed children from Mexico whose parents were U.S. citizens to stay with their parents who were living in the United States as U.S. citizens. Though these parents had their children in Mexico (because in the U.S. the U.S. citizens are always crying about Mexicans using all of their healthcare) so they went back to Mexico to have their babies, said, “mira mi” to the estados unidos tambien. Ayyyyyyyyyyyy. “Now let us back in gringo!!!! We will be engineers ese!”
- Drank milk from a cup.
- Bought raffle tickets for a bake off benefiting a neighbor who had a broken leg and could not afford to pay his doctor bill.
- Made healthcare a four-letter word.
- Spoke to the Pope in tongues, words that translated as “I just want people to love each other always and forever”.
- [Thirteenth reason forbidden by the illuminati]
It should now be apparent that we are sitting on some intense evidence that is going to quite frankly blow the lid wide open off the charts in the gutter to the moon out of town off the map beyond the pale blue yonder comes a sucka and she’s got my man.
Listen. Okay. Wait a minute. Stay with me here. President Obama is a raving lunatic sitting with his finger on the button labeled "the funk" that blows up the entire world. No wonder Michelle Obama looks upset. There is a reason for it. She knows what is happening. She is aware that he is bent on destroying the country piecemeal, one state at a time, county by county, sea to shining sea, all the way to Toledo on back to the Caroline. You got me here? Are you registering anything in that thickness you call a mind cover? Tilly tally bafangoo.
This has gone on long enough. What part of this rant don’t you get? Why are you staring there with your dumb little nose wondering what is happening? Uh. The end of the world genius. Crashing down around you, you are busy grabbing for more funions with a snide chuckle waiting to happen any second. How typical. How positively typical!!
Come down to earth for one moment, put the video on pause. Leave the planet “anything goes” and take a peak or two back at a little thing called reality every now and then, if you would, if you could find the time in your, as I imagine it, busy day. Get over yourself already, that is all there are - busy days and busier nights.
Okay, okay, Mister and Miss Big Stuff. Miss I-work-for-a-living in an “office setting”. Big deal. How trite. How tripe. So lame. So late. Get over it. Already.
You have to overcome your obstacles. Congress has issued an announcement that it will now decorate its chambers in the fashion-of-the-day 666 style known as “evil for now”. Created last summer by Dryden Casper, a teen artist with the charisma of ten slugs, with absolutely no sense of humor, a billion followers, his own media empire, and who is known to make his friends laugh by simply turning his wrist in a sly and suggestive manner. His antics were so sidesplitting among his peers (every time he raised his hand the class would faint in buckets of sweat) that he was banned from school permanently.
However, before he left, he was able to use school resources to design a space “clever enough for the devil but neat enough for the relatives.” A design idea so impossible, it was listed on the top 10,000 ideas that will probably never take off because they are unfeasible or impossible, one or the two, but not both. There was a further note that if it were something both unfeasible and impossible, then it would be considered nearly impossible that such a premise were not in fact completely possible, given certain new laws that mathematicians are just now working over in the basement to be announced at a time to be determined.
Well, anyway, you are taking us from the point. That is the way I read it. I’m sure it is open to interpretation. But that is my take. That’s what I got out of it. That is how I see it. That is how it looks to me. That is how I heard it. That is how it smelled to me. That, that is how it feels to me. That is how I swallowed it. That is the flavor I compared it to. That is how I would have done it, were it me. I know it was not me but if it was me that is how I would look at it had I had that particular choice in the matter and thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to explain.
I know, you may not agree. But if you don’t agree. I want to ask you. What the fuck is your problem and why are you always disagreeing with me every time I turn around?
What is it with you and your nose bobbing like a pendulum? You want to tell me that? All I see is the nob of a flesh colored strawberry popping up and down like some kind of menacing harbinger of a most uncertain fortune. Oh the positive dread of it all has me so in a way. The reader’s nose is the most wretched conceit known to humanist science.
Now listen you, don’t distract me again with your repetitive space jogging with those eyes that should be capturing the reflection of a tall Adonis with a chiseled body but are instead here stuck in a freshly-poured mess of lost story telling concrete boo-blah-blaa. Where is the beginning; who happened to what at the end? Where is a climax? Ask me that.
Don’t look at me. What am I, the narrator? Hahaha. No. What?! Made you think that?
Just because I came here to write you a story, now you think I’m the narrator. What ever happened to fiction? Where is a little creativity when you need it? Do you have a dollar with President Obama on the face? Yet? If not, just wait. It’s coming. It will be worth two dollars, but still, even though he gained us a lot with that, 100% increase, still, it has his name on it. Who is he to put his name on it? You know who else does that? A little man called Beezelebub. Ever heard of him? That little man? Get a clue.
So put it all to rest, your little conspiracy to hide from the truth. This is your casting call. This is your shining moment of decoration, where you must serve it or go home like a crybaby on stilts. President Obama has the mental competence of a Gila monster. Get used to it. Breath it in.
Everything he does is completely the exact opposite of the way he should have done it. If you want to know how to do something, see what Obama does and do the opposite. If you want to be a genius, ask Obama every question and give the exact opposite answer that he gives. If you want to feel good about yourself, realize you are actually as smart as the President of them United States of America. the POTUS who really showed us. But take a pause to notice that it doesn’t mean very much these days sister child.
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Now be honest.