Skip to main content

Mirror Ball Technician II

Responsibilities include 
Cleaning and dusting the mirror balls while making sure that each individual mirror is set at the proper angle for its hemisphere. 
Periodically rotate and balance the mirrors to insure that they each spin at exactly 33 and one third rpm. 
Test spin characteristics for signs of aberration.  If signs of aberration are found by the gas chronograph, that means you will need to climb into the grid and do the reflection dialysis by hand.  We want a perfect spin.  If we say, spin ball 87 at 16 rpm followed by a reverse to clockwise, that ball needs to perform as specified.  There is very little room for error as our productions are considered world class productions.
Measure the reflection characteristics under a variety of lighting sources from the standpoint of a varying degree of diffusion and color strategies vis a vis every angle the reflections need to be spot on. 

Job Requirements
       Must be compatible with a stressful and often violent work environment with a rigid fascist-grade schedule.  Only considering enthusiastic candidates who are smiling.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wombat Pill Is THE #1 Doctor’s Choice for Mom’s Beard

Do you or someone you love suffer from Mom’s Beard? 25-40% of all young mothers experience some form of post-natal Mom’s Beard.  However, do to stigma, most never report in for treatment.  Then, the problem only worsens. “I was embarrassed that someone would mistake me for a man,” said Diedre Northwinter of Alert, Nunavut in northernmost Canada, “I was afraid I would start earning more unless I did something fast.  However, I heard that the treatment for Mom’s Beard causes worse Mom’s Beard**.  It was one of the most difficult years of my life.” You never want to have to say “I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN WOMBAT PILL,” after it is too late. The tell-tale symptoms of Mom’s Beard go away on their own.  However, super-follicles produced by Mom’s Beard can take as long as 6-months to a year to heal, and the results can leave a mustache.  In that amount of time, your husband may develop irreversible homosexuality if cost-prohibitive steps are not taken. These...

It’s a Long Way to the Top? Really?

If you wanna be a star of stage and screen,             Look out - it’s rough and mean - AC/DC It’s a Long Way To The Top, 1975, Albert Productions Australian hard rock sensation AC/DC released their rock anthem It’s a Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll) nearly 40 years ago in 1975.   The band’s fifth single, Long Way reached the ninth spot on the Australian charts and is widely considered by critics to be the legend Bon Scott’s signature hit.   To add to its prestige, it was recently included in the Australian National Registry of Recorded Sound .   However, the entire premise of the song is fabricated – AC/DC and the Brothers Young actually became internationally famous rock stars within one year after releasing Long Way . Malcolm, Angus, and George Young recording in 1972. Let there be rock Malcolm and Angus Young, key to AC/DC’s raw sound, are the younger brothers of G...

The Society of All-Best Friends

Preamble We are all best friends. Credo stranger, acquaintance, friend, best friend Thoughts We remain all best friends.  No one is less than best friend to anyone else.  We are convinced that is the way that it must be for everything to be right.  If one person is not best friends to anyone one other person, be it anybody else whatsoever, that is a technical foul on planet earth and we, the Society of Best Friends themselves, demand it be cleaned up with transparency, restraint, and accountability. We aren’t going to bow down anymore to the ones who said, look, you can’t all be best friends, that isn’t what we like.  They will say, that is not the way it was before, because before that, they will go on, people were either friends or they were best friends, but there was only one best friend.  They were monoamicus as well as being monotheistic. We are duotheistic, we believe there are exactly no less than two Gods of exactly equal purpose and extr...