Four humans started out as substance abusers because they did not look on the bright side. Then, each had an independent emotional block and found it impossible to take it any further. On that day, the four devoted themselves at once to Krishna, Buddha, Yahweh, Jesus, and Muhammad all while making a serious effort to learn music perfectly so as to impress future generations not born yet. On that auspicious day, Monday, June 17, 1947, they tattooed and changed their names as they joined in swastika hands.
Mouth, Guitar, Bass, and Drums were one of the greatest four-piece ensembles in music history. You know them as Musicians. In case you were hacking films in Buenos Aires for the past 20 years from your basement, Musicians is a musical firebrand from Ecuador that has knocked the tube socks off the entire world.
Musicians have sold more than a hundred copies of their album Song List which includes the classic Single 26. Each copy is hand made and contains the secrets of humankind.
One of the most important keys to their fame is that no one else on earth is allowed to play or record music by a decree announced last week at a secret meeting which involved all attendants being waited on hand and foot. Forty valets were brought on special at great expense to taxpayers.
“We decided we didn’t like the competition,” announced Javier Jerkins, director of music at Music Studios in Buenos Aires, “so we made it impossible for anyone to make music without our say so. We created so many jobs in the process, you won’t even believe it.”
“It must be a good thing for the jobs,” Harvey Stevenmeyer cried over a loudspeaker in Fonzarelli Park East.
“What jobs?” a guy asked quietly.
“Trainwrecks are up 300,000 percent since yesterday at 4:44 PM, you get me? Speaks for itself,” Stevenmeyer quipped.
“Not following,” the guy calmly explained.
“All I know, is last night, 40 guys got a good job parking and returning cars to some very fine people. Very fine people!” Stevenmeyer pounded the lectern, “Are you saying you’re not grateful for that? You’re a fag if you don’t feel anything about something that big. Those were some fine people, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Very fine folks, those.”
“I do object to that term. Not to be politically correct, I am gay and that word has been used by the relatively uninformed in the recent past to dehumanize others like me who are also homosexual. You imply there is something wrong with being gay and I disagree with you. It is my right to disagree with you. If we could all sit down at the same table, I think...in the same shoes... I just think we should be having a dialogue. But so far it has been a more of a monologue, I have noticed. Not to be sarcastic. My point and the reason I am here is because... is the valets were never paid,” the guy, who wore a Gunslingers sweatshirt, said softly with a clean voice while he wiped his hands on an over-sized napkin.
“What word? Forget it. I can’t talk sense into you, sir, because you’re clearly stupid and everyone else not completely dumb knows that,” Stevenmeyer kicked the podium into pieces, his gravelly pitch growled over the crowd murmur, “I said the word JOBS for Christmas sake! The valets agreed they would not be paid until some other time. Then they owed money at the company store. Couldn’t be helped. I don’t make the rules until I do and this time I have not. What can I say? Their time to be paid has simply not arrived at this time. A suitable time in the future on which payment will be issued will be announced at a later date. This is a common legal framework that is often grossly misunderstood. Frankly, these divisive allegations are an outrage slandering my fine name. My father’s father...”
“One of the valets said you invited her to a special meeting in your hotel where you presented your...” the Gunslinger sweatshirt tried to explain.
“That’s enough!” Stevenmeyer said, “this is a witch hunt. Next what are you going to tell me, that one of the lucky valets is missing?”
“None of them have been heard from since,” green whispered but loud enough for everyone to hear.
“The whereabouts of the valets is a trade secret,” Stevenmeyer protested, now loosening his tie and punching random dignitaries on stage, “You legally signed an NDA when you purchased the ticket to this event. Are you a stupid idiot? Because that will not play well before the judge.”
Musicians actually employs billions of valets worldwide. As a result of monopolizing music globally, no one is hungry. Lines and wars are over. Textbook magic bullet.
“Heaven is on earth now,” Guitar said in an interview for the documentary film Videotape, “no one is sad except bad people. Preaching is not a crime unless criminality is what you’re preaching. Divisive rhetoric is genocide.”
“You’re not… You don’t make… sense? I guess? In some way, do you think?”
“No I don’t think I’ve been anything short of perfectly clear to anyone who has an IQ that is larger than bupkiss.”
“This is… Well, you lost me almost right off the bat, so...”
“Yes, I had a rough start.”
“Oh, a rough start? Someone here disagrees with that.”
“Who?”
“He saw what you did, he thinks its a little bit more than what you say, a bad start. It looks like a pattern. He thought you were magnificent even stupendous, but now he thinks you need to step it up because you've become stale and fussy. He or she.”
“I saw a pattern.”
“You saw a pattern too?”
“Who saw a pattern? That’s everybody, except one person, sir, why aren’t you raising your hand?”
“I thought we would signify by not raising our hands instead to be more efficient at first, then I understood what happened but didn’t want anyone to know it.”
“Get out! Get out of our club this minute clown!”
“I deserve it.”
“Yes, you do. We have to move on. Alert the fire marshall.”
“I’ve done nothing wrong here.”
“Well, there is a woman over there that disagrees. Ma’am”
“Hi, I disagree. I saw this man urinate in a basket being weaved at the time by a homeless Vietnam vet's Purple Heart.”
“That’s a total lie.”
“I can email the video I think, but my phone is stuck on the log in screen. I clicked it, then it told me it wasn’t available. So I pushed back, then it said I was not authorized, so I reset, rebooted, updated, then logged back in. Then, it is telling me that the connection is not private, so I unplugged it, thinking that was it, but Siri got my email address completely wrong... was supposed to be a lower case Q.”
“That’s extortion!”
“Nice Swastika.”
“You would like that.”
“I would not, you would. Why are you obsessed with that symbol, all it is an X with a bunch of lines attached at the end. It is like a cross on its side but then it rolled down a hill and got slanted like Jesus.”
“You like that apparently, look at all the words you used to describe it. I counted 44 words.”
“Enough, I have a personal limit of 39 so I don’t know what you’re talking about. My brain cannot do more than 39 just from biology.”
“Biology, what is the difference between prison and not prison?”
“A premise that is not discussed openly.”
“I knew it.”
“Well, you didn’t know it until I confirmed it.”
“It is all the same. I am writing this down for the fire marshal.”
Mouth went solo, right before Guitar, then the others followed suit. They all decided it was inconvenient to separate the buses, so continued to perform together at concerts and for albums. Mouth would perform, then Guitar, then Drums, then Bass. That was the strict order enforced by the Navy of the Night. But you know who they are.
Later on, Drums changed his name to Martin Sunright Gable, and Mouth is now known as ). There is some confusion about it, and there is no consensus, but if you listen to a thousand million un-involved parties who are easily tricked, you will be certain of your position and there will be no use trying to talk you out of it so just go with it. What matters it? Believe that too.”
“You are losing me, was that a quote? Where is the begin quote?”
“You don’t always need one of those, you can just end with it and the reader will imply that you made a mistake by omission. They will fill it in their own mind. The arithmetic is the same.”
“They will think you’re lazy. They will think you are cheap. What college allows that? There might be time to make a correction if you hurry.”
“It is too late, they already typed it and proof-read it. People are paid to proof-read, can you believe that horseshit? Let me be clear: I’m not worried about arithmetic, I am thinking about the calculus.”
“That isn’t always technically true in every circumstance.”
“Just end this here, I have a job interview in 5 minutes. I doubt I will be taken seriously if I am not thrown out on sight. Remember, one way or another everybody pretends.”
Mouth, Guitar, Bass, and Drums were one of the greatest four-piece ensembles in music history. You know them as Musicians. In case you were hacking films in Buenos Aires for the past 20 years from your basement, Musicians is a musical firebrand from Ecuador that has knocked the tube socks off the entire world.
Musicians have sold more than a hundred copies of their album Song List which includes the classic Single 26. Each copy is hand made and contains the secrets of humankind.
One of the most important keys to their fame is that no one else on earth is allowed to play or record music by a decree announced last week at a secret meeting which involved all attendants being waited on hand and foot. Forty valets were brought on special at great expense to taxpayers.
“We decided we didn’t like the competition,” announced Javier Jerkins, director of music at Music Studios in Buenos Aires, “so we made it impossible for anyone to make music without our say so. We created so many jobs in the process, you won’t even believe it.”
“It must be a good thing for the jobs,” Harvey Stevenmeyer cried over a loudspeaker in Fonzarelli Park East.
“What jobs?” a guy asked quietly.
“Trainwrecks are up 300,000 percent since yesterday at 4:44 PM, you get me? Speaks for itself,” Stevenmeyer quipped.
“Not following,” the guy calmly explained.
“All I know, is last night, 40 guys got a good job parking and returning cars to some very fine people. Very fine people!” Stevenmeyer pounded the lectern, “Are you saying you’re not grateful for that? You’re a fag if you don’t feel anything about something that big. Those were some fine people, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Very fine folks, those.”
“I do object to that term. Not to be politically correct, I am gay and that word has been used by the relatively uninformed in the recent past to dehumanize others like me who are also homosexual. You imply there is something wrong with being gay and I disagree with you. It is my right to disagree with you. If we could all sit down at the same table, I think...in the same shoes... I just think we should be having a dialogue. But so far it has been a more of a monologue, I have noticed. Not to be sarcastic. My point and the reason I am here is because... is the valets were never paid,” the guy, who wore a Gunslingers sweatshirt, said softly with a clean voice while he wiped his hands on an over-sized napkin.
“What word? Forget it. I can’t talk sense into you, sir, because you’re clearly stupid and everyone else not completely dumb knows that,” Stevenmeyer kicked the podium into pieces, his gravelly pitch growled over the crowd murmur, “I said the word JOBS for Christmas sake! The valets agreed they would not be paid until some other time. Then they owed money at the company store. Couldn’t be helped. I don’t make the rules until I do and this time I have not. What can I say? Their time to be paid has simply not arrived at this time. A suitable time in the future on which payment will be issued will be announced at a later date. This is a common legal framework that is often grossly misunderstood. Frankly, these divisive allegations are an outrage slandering my fine name. My father’s father...”
“One of the valets said you invited her to a special meeting in your hotel where you presented your...” the Gunslinger sweatshirt tried to explain.
“That’s enough!” Stevenmeyer said, “this is a witch hunt. Next what are you going to tell me, that one of the lucky valets is missing?”
“None of them have been heard from since,” green whispered but loud enough for everyone to hear.
“The whereabouts of the valets is a trade secret,” Stevenmeyer protested, now loosening his tie and punching random dignitaries on stage, “You legally signed an NDA when you purchased the ticket to this event. Are you a stupid idiot? Because that will not play well before the judge.”
Musicians actually employs billions of valets worldwide. As a result of monopolizing music globally, no one is hungry. Lines and wars are over. Textbook magic bullet.
“Heaven is on earth now,” Guitar said in an interview for the documentary film Videotape, “no one is sad except bad people. Preaching is not a crime unless criminality is what you’re preaching. Divisive rhetoric is genocide.”
“You’re not… You don’t make… sense? I guess? In some way, do you think?”
“No I don’t think I’ve been anything short of perfectly clear to anyone who has an IQ that is larger than bupkiss.”
“This is… Well, you lost me almost right off the bat, so...”
“Yes, I had a rough start.”
“Oh, a rough start? Someone here disagrees with that.”
“Who?”
“He saw what you did, he thinks its a little bit more than what you say, a bad start. It looks like a pattern. He thought you were magnificent even stupendous, but now he thinks you need to step it up because you've become stale and fussy. He or she.”
“I saw a pattern.”
“You saw a pattern too?”
“Who saw a pattern? That’s everybody, except one person, sir, why aren’t you raising your hand?”
“I thought we would signify by not raising our hands instead to be more efficient at first, then I understood what happened but didn’t want anyone to know it.”
“Get out! Get out of our club this minute clown!”
“I deserve it.”
“Yes, you do. We have to move on. Alert the fire marshall.”
“I’ve done nothing wrong here.”
“Well, there is a woman over there that disagrees. Ma’am”
“Hi, I disagree. I saw this man urinate in a basket being weaved at the time by a homeless Vietnam vet's Purple Heart.”
“That’s a total lie.”
“I can email the video I think, but my phone is stuck on the log in screen. I clicked it, then it told me it wasn’t available. So I pushed back, then it said I was not authorized, so I reset, rebooted, updated, then logged back in. Then, it is telling me that the connection is not private, so I unplugged it, thinking that was it, but Siri got my email address completely wrong... was supposed to be a lower case Q.”
“That’s extortion!”
“Nice Swastika.”
“You would like that.”
“I would not, you would. Why are you obsessed with that symbol, all it is an X with a bunch of lines attached at the end. It is like a cross on its side but then it rolled down a hill and got slanted like Jesus.”
“You like that apparently, look at all the words you used to describe it. I counted 44 words.”
“Enough, I have a personal limit of 39 so I don’t know what you’re talking about. My brain cannot do more than 39 just from biology.”
“Biology, what is the difference between prison and not prison?”
“A premise that is not discussed openly.”
“I knew it.”
“Well, you didn’t know it until I confirmed it.”
“It is all the same. I am writing this down for the fire marshal.”
Mouth went solo, right before Guitar, then the others followed suit. They all decided it was inconvenient to separate the buses, so continued to perform together at concerts and for albums. Mouth would perform, then Guitar, then Drums, then Bass. That was the strict order enforced by the Navy of the Night. But you know who they are.
Later on, Drums changed his name to Martin Sunright Gable, and Mouth is now known as ). There is some confusion about it, and there is no consensus, but if you listen to a thousand million un-involved parties who are easily tricked, you will be certain of your position and there will be no use trying to talk you out of it so just go with it. What matters it? Believe that too.”
“You are losing me, was that a quote? Where is the begin quote?”
“You don’t always need one of those, you can just end with it and the reader will imply that you made a mistake by omission. They will fill it in their own mind. The arithmetic is the same.”
“They will think you’re lazy. They will think you are cheap. What college allows that? There might be time to make a correction if you hurry.”
“It is too late, they already typed it and proof-read it. People are paid to proof-read, can you believe that horseshit? Let me be clear: I’m not worried about arithmetic, I am thinking about the calculus.”
“That isn’t always technically true in every circumstance.”
“Just end this here, I have a job interview in 5 minutes. I doubt I will be taken seriously if I am not thrown out on sight. Remember, one way or another everybody pretends.”
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Now be honest.