Perhaps one of the most closely guarded and well-hidden secrets, often referred to as, “the small print of the Declaration of Independence”, is that the crown retained power over their 13 children and 37 bratty grandchildren. The pink post it note that originally attached to the July 4, 1776 document reads as follows:
“Your Majesty: This part we will leave out of the official document. Do pardon our frankness, won’t you? We mean to merely offer you the pretext of a revolution so that we may indeed trick the rest of the world, fools that they are, that we are separate and not brethren. It is through these means that we endeavor to take over the entire world and the heavens are next. We are planning to stage a big war and everything.”
According to Franklin Delmar of Smithville Polytechnic University in Raptoe, the original post-it is located in a vault in the Tower of London. His reasoning is, where else would they put it? He went on to point out several examples of really important things that they stored there throughout the years.
A spokesperson for President Obama declined comment Thursday evening. However, the spokesperson was none other than Richard Blankenship of Smack Dab. I believe his qualifications as spokesperson are dubious, he having no connection to the president other than that, as he says, he “just knows how he thinks”. Additionally, I have never liked Mr. Blankenship the least bit. He is the only resident of Smack Dab other than my brother and me. I sometimes wish that fate had given our town a better third person because he positively gets on my last nerve but we are stuck with him.
I visited with Queen Elizabeth II Wednesday as she walked through her garden at Balmore Castle, which alone has a million acres of red roses, her favorite flower. She opened up to me.
“You know granny, I just love your handbag,” she said as she removed a thorn from my finger, “now do you want to know about this loophole now or what it is?”
“Why yes, Your Majesty, thank you,” I said.
“I rule the United States, truthfully, and please call me Lizzie, I really own all of it but I’ve never been one to, you know, oppress people. Really, and this is between you and I, Granny, I know I can always trust you, really I just want those people to be happy so I let them, yes, elect a president, yes, a congress, and the like, all forms of a government is theirs as far as I have anything to say about it. I basically allow a republic to flourish. I have no problem with it. Why not? You know I was chosen by God to rule the entire world. But I’m one to say, let it be. Why fight it, go around always at war with this group or that thing or these birds. Its not sanitary. It goes too far. I have more important things to do, and that is to help people lead happier lives, to make the world better, to end hunger, violence, strife, every ill. It is ours to change, we can and we will. Granny you are going to help me.”
“I’d be honored. Can I ask, do you really have magical powers?” I said.
“Certainly not, only that I can affect the weather but anyone can do that,” she said, and as the sun set I noticed that her aura glowed an iridescent white.
“Your Majesty: This part we will leave out of the official document. Do pardon our frankness, won’t you? We mean to merely offer you the pretext of a revolution so that we may indeed trick the rest of the world, fools that they are, that we are separate and not brethren. It is through these means that we endeavor to take over the entire world and the heavens are next. We are planning to stage a big war and everything.”
According to Franklin Delmar of Smithville Polytechnic University in Raptoe, the original post-it is located in a vault in the Tower of London. His reasoning is, where else would they put it? He went on to point out several examples of really important things that they stored there throughout the years.
A spokesperson for President Obama declined comment Thursday evening. However, the spokesperson was none other than Richard Blankenship of Smack Dab. I believe his qualifications as spokesperson are dubious, he having no connection to the president other than that, as he says, he “just knows how he thinks”. Additionally, I have never liked Mr. Blankenship the least bit. He is the only resident of Smack Dab other than my brother and me. I sometimes wish that fate had given our town a better third person because he positively gets on my last nerve but we are stuck with him.
I visited with Queen Elizabeth II Wednesday as she walked through her garden at Balmore Castle, which alone has a million acres of red roses, her favorite flower. She opened up to me.
“You know granny, I just love your handbag,” she said as she removed a thorn from my finger, “now do you want to know about this loophole now or what it is?”
“Why yes, Your Majesty, thank you,” I said.
“I rule the United States, truthfully, and please call me Lizzie, I really own all of it but I’ve never been one to, you know, oppress people. Really, and this is between you and I, Granny, I know I can always trust you, really I just want those people to be happy so I let them, yes, elect a president, yes, a congress, and the like, all forms of a government is theirs as far as I have anything to say about it. I basically allow a republic to flourish. I have no problem with it. Why not? You know I was chosen by God to rule the entire world. But I’m one to say, let it be. Why fight it, go around always at war with this group or that thing or these birds. Its not sanitary. It goes too far. I have more important things to do, and that is to help people lead happier lives, to make the world better, to end hunger, violence, strife, every ill. It is ours to change, we can and we will. Granny you are going to help me.”
“I’d be honored. Can I ask, do you really have magical powers?” I said.
“Certainly not, only that I can affect the weather but anyone can do that,” she said, and as the sun set I noticed that her aura glowed an iridescent white.
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