The Chronicles of Granny In The Bed

There is no denying it - the information age is upon us.   Certainly one of the most exciting trends is blogging.   With over thirty million blogs worldwide and the fact that two new blogs are created every second, web users are bombarded with blog options.   This may be a problem because you may feel sad if no one is reading your blog.   You may also be dealing with the unfortunate situation that occurs when you’re not a celebrity.   So, then, how does one navigate in such indifferent waters? If you’re like most of us, you have no idea what to write about, neither the capacity nor the attention span.   One way to avoid the frustration is to write a meta blog that offers tips for writing a blog.       Make a list   1.                 Enumerate, enumerate, enumerate.   2.             ...

The view from inside a time machine looking out     Time Immigrant   One of the most daunting challenges of time travel has always been avoiding the dimension shift.   Because there are infinite universes in the multiverse, each containing infinite possibilities and an exact duplicate of you, your DNA handle, and the remaining soul, it is essential to stay within the same universe at all times.   Time travel is a very delicate art of perfect tuning.   One slight difference could mean that honorable people in this universe are dastardly criminals in another and vice versa . However, trips to parallel universes do provide often very amusing stories that span the genre spectrum and encompass exciting, masterfully spun tales of grandeur.   Molly Jevais has compiled thousands of these real-life stories into one collection – Time Travel Anthologies Volume 2 .   Jevais, 32, traveled the epochs in search of pithy t...

Granny’s 14 Points Steps to Success If you want to blog, you should definitely blog. Remember that everyone wants to hear what you have to say. Pick a topic that will sell any style of shoe.   Write crazy and dangerous things.   It is also good advice to violate key rules of grammar and punctuation.   Create buzz by visiting your blog from public computers all over town, being sure to click on the ads.   Experts say that clicks count.   Also, leave anonymous comments like: “this is the greatest blog EVER.” Share your blog with facebook friends and guilt them into liking it. Get plenty of exercise. Brag about your blog at any reunion. Create a religious cult and a facebook group with links to your blog. If you don’t know how to write, copy text (and photos) from other sites and paste them onto yours (ctrl+c to copy, ctrl+v to paste,). Keywords are words...

Caracas - It was reported Thursday in News Weekly that mutated computer viruses are infecting human beings and other lower apes at an alarming rate.   The announcement came during an Illuminati rally held Friday in Perth.   Sources close to The Bilderberg have said that the organization has known about Amphibious Digital Particle Viruses (ADPV), the most notorious of the Class 5 technovirus families, for some time.   “We may have even developed them,” said Roberto Carlos, a Bilderberg serpent-head and secret world police officer, “However, because we are secretive, we cannot be certain of that or much else.   All we know is ADPV's do exist and that they are particularly awful.” According to Carlos, 979 cases have been reported in and around Caracas since Sunday.   Nearby La Paz is believed to be at the epicenter of the outbreak, which has a reported 117% effective death rate, killing even those who have only heard about the ...

Vril to hire 10,000 pilots for chemtrail program; President Obama announces White House worked with Boeing to develope chemtrails that are invisible to the eyes.   Phoenix – The Vril Society announced Friday that it is seeking to hire ten thousand pilots in launching its newest push to enslave the world’s population using controversial chemtrails.   The revelation came at a private dinner in a secret location believed to be an alien spaceport.   Potential candidates are urged to submit a resume and cover letter to www.vril.org.eu before January 15.     A local mother points out chemtrails to her shocked family. “We just weren’t using enough gas,” said Green Bishop, a former chairperson of The Rand Corporation during a webinar on ureachforit.org Sunday, “adding pilots is like the best thing we can do.   Think about it.”  Bishop went on to say that each plane will be equipped with tons of Sargon...

Bangor - The war will begin in Kaesong according to Agent Dennis Rodman who was to speak at a meeting with high brass of the Illuminati just hours ago. The main topic of discussion was the final war.  Rodman was sidelined during a warm-up, having been placed on the injured reserve list. The rebound artist is expected to be healthy next week in time for Washington’s televised face-off with Syria which could decide who has the home-field disadvantage throughout the playoffs.   Prime Minister Shinzō Abe of Japan spoke at a meeting of the Rothschild Foundation Saturday, revealing that he is the person behind the internet hoax that involves typing the number 1 and seeing what happens. He said one evening it just came to him th at people would type the number 1 and nothing would happen. However, he had no comment on Pyongyang.   Ida Bitter, a spokesperson for Monsanto, has said that the group would be willing stop developing genetically modified foods if it ...

Perplexing photograph that many believe turned up in Smack Dab only recently Smack Dab - A photograph was discovered circulating the streets of Smack Dab Monday portraying nine black-robed individuals, four standing and five seated in wooden chairs.  The group members all appeared to be over 50 as they posed in front of a red velvet curtain.  No one is certain exactly who they are. “They must be very serious people,” said Eli Crooked, a hotdog vendor on the city’s south side, adding, “Each one looks extremely dangerous in his own unique way.” Six were men, one clinching his fist with a menacing glance, one matter-of-fact, another satisfied, one wearing a big smile, an elderly bald man having trouble holding his head upright, and one standing who seems to be expressing the emotion “can you believe this?” or some mix of shock and indignation.   Three were women, two smiling pleasantly and one who looked as if she were not sure where she was or why ...